It's You and Me Against the World
by moon plus stars
Summary: Shattered windows. Broken mirrors. Unhinged doors. For too long, this is how it has been. Too many years, fighting back tears, and I no longer have the strength to try. Not for love, not for pride, not for life. I'm tired of being strong. He has torn me apart for thousands of years, and now I will let myself break.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Every story has a beginning. Once upon a time…

Pretty common start, I'd say. Well, anyways, I am here to tell you my story. I must say, it's not the happiest thing in the world. I'll start when I'm 16, living in New York, going to a private school called Duchene, and fighting to keep the heart of the one I love. His name is Benjamin. Benjamin Force, but everyone calls him Jack. To me, his name is Abaddon.

Abaddon is my twin, the one my soul desires. Yep, sounds pretty cool, right? Wrong. He's betrayed me. Again. Sounds kind of weird that I'm used to it, I know. But I am. He's betrayed me hundreds of times and I've forgiven him. But this time is different, I can feel it. He's gone after, and has always gone after, Gabrielle. But this time her name is Schuyler Van Alen. She's her daughter and she's not the prettiest flower in the bouquet. That may be harsh, but true, in my opinion.

Anyways, back to the point, Abaddon has gone behind my back with her, and as much as I hate to admit it… it's killing me. I love him, I really do. Even when nothing else is clear, my love for him is. And he's taken it for granted.

I just realized something. I forgot to tell you who I am. Well, my name is Madeleine Force (Mimi for short). I am the Angel of Death, otherwise known as Azrael. Now that you know who I am and what my situation is, here is my story.

Once upon a time…


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Mimi's POV

I sat in the tree, my legs sprawled over the branch. They thought they were alone in this forest. Ha. It makes me laugh seeing their foolishness. But… it hurt. I mean, I'm Mimi Force, I don't care about anyone… except him. And yet, he overestimates my ability to block out all emotion and not care who he distracted with. He thinks I'm cold and heartless, cruel and careless. But he's wrong. He's hurting me and he doesn't even know it. Of course, he was blocking me in the glom so he couldn't hear my thoughts and I was grateful.

"Schuyler, there's something I have to say." he said softly, bringing my attention to them.

"What is it," she said looking up from her cup of yogurt in her hand.

"I'm stuck in a relationship with someone I don't love, but when I look at you, I don't have to worry about that. You brighten my day and make me forget about Mimi. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I love you."

I tried to keep my breathing calm and my mouth fell open. Pain stung my heart.

_You son of a bitch! You love me! Me! We are soul mates! Dark is attracted to light, but you always remember who you are and what you are! You remember your past! And who was there then, huh? Was it Schuyler or Gabrielle or was it me?_

And then I felt it. A tear. Coming down my cheek. And this wasn't a tear of physical wounds or rage. It was a tear of pain. Of heartbreak. Well, maybe just a little rage.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was jumping from the tree branch and to the ground. I landed solidly on my feet behind Jack.

He turned around with shock in his eyes. They quickly stood up, their eyes wide like deer caught in headlights.

"You are a sick bastard, Jack!" My hand whipped across his face. He just turned his head back to me with pity.

"You think I'm cruel, heartless, that I care about nobody but myself! But you're wrong!" I felt another tear. I really wish the little bitch Schuyler wasn't here, but it couldn't be helped. I needed to get this out before it killed me. "I care about you Jack! I had enough patience to watch while Gabrielle steals your heart, watch while you get sucked into the light! But you always remembered me! Me, Jack! And you always came home! But now you-you tell her _that_…" I couldn't speak any longer as sobs overcame me. I clutched my blond curls with my hand and squeezed as hard as I could.

_What am I doing? I'm Mimi Force! And Mimi Force doesn't cry! Especially in front of Schuyler Van Alen!_

I raised my head with dignity, "You know what, Jack? I'm not the cruel, cold, and selfish one anymore. It's you."

I turned on my heel and ran through the forest, dodging the narrowly spaced trees. I knew that Jack had to make his choice here and now. Either stay with Schuyler or chase after me. Because I wasn't coming back. I sent one last thought through the glom before blocking him off completely.

_I will never forgive you._

_

* * *

_

He made his choice and I made mine. I stared out the window of the plane. I had been repeating the same two words in my mind for the last five hours.

_He's… gone… He's… gone… He's gone… _

I closed my eyes remembering the note I had left on my bed.

**Jack,**

**You made your choice. I gave you one more chance and you blew it. I hope you're happy with your choice and know that every single gift you gave me is in the pool. Have fun swimming. You won't find me, Jack. I'm gone for good. And since you've now got Gabrielle and Schuyler, your next cycle should be full of fun. I guess even Abaddon can be sucked up by the light. But I am Azrael, the angel of death, and I will never forget my place and who I am. I can destroy you but I won't. I just hope I never see you again until the next cycle and then maybe you'll come to your senses. If not, it will happen all over again. **

**I can't keep protecting you, Jack. The wrath of the Committee will only get worse. Ignoring the bond has a punishment, and I just don't think you can go back and forth anymore. I'm done seeing you confessing your love to other women. My patience is wearing thin, and so is the Committee's. So either run or be punished. Your choice.**

**And don't think this means I've gone all soft. I don't want your pity. And I know that you are going to look for me, say you're sorry. You're an expert at sorry, at keeping it blurry. Aren't you? But I won't buy it, not anymore. That's your problem Jack. You kiss me, say I'm beautiful, and tell me that you love me. But every thing you say and do is out of duty, not feelings. If you ever felt the slightest thing for me at all, you'll leave me alone. Goodbye, Abaddon. You may be Jack in this cycle, but you'll always be Abaddon to me.**

**Azrael **

_All those dramas I've seen on TV. All the "How could you cheat on me?" or "Did everything we ever had mean nothing?" or "Why would you hurt me like this?" or something totally stupid like that. Now it's my life. _

I remember the tears falling on the ink. The pen wavering in my hand. The hair clutched in my fingers. The pile of tissues in the trash can.

My phone buzzed and I took it out, already expecting Jack's face on the front screen. I ignored it as I had the last 6 calls.

I looked at the boy next to me. His caramel colored hair was in his eyes that were blank and staring off to nowhere in particular. I saw two little holes in his neck. Sick bitch. Performing the Sacred Kiss on your Conduit. I mean really, who does that?

"I feel like such an idiot," he said in a soft, scratchy voice. "I didn't figure it out and you, of all people, had to tell me."

I sharply said, "Why are you even here? You're supposed to guarding the little bitch."

His eyebrows furrowed, "Don't talk about her like that."

I smirked, "You can defend her. After everything she's done to you."

Oliver just shrugged, "I guess that's how love works. Do you still love him?"

I gave him the are-you-retarded-or-lacking-a-brain look. Would I be on this plane if I didn't? He put up his hands in fake surrender, "Sorry I asked."

I sighed. I could pretend to be as mean as I liked. But I just couldn't be the usual Mimi Force. Self-involved, prideful, bitter to all, and cold. I couldn't be her. I felt soft; vulnerable. I'm the angel of death. I'm never vulnerable.

I looked at my outfit. It was the same as my mood. A black t-shirt, jeans, and a grey hoodie. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail. I looked a wreck and totally not like Mimi Force. Oliver looked over at me with sympathy.

I just glared at him. "This isn't a pity party, you know. Just because we are on a plane to who knows where-"

"Austria." Oliver cut in quietly.

"Yeah, Austria, like I care. Anyway, just because we are on a plane to Austria, depressed and single doesn't mean that I want all your sympathy. You're just making it worse. But of course that doesn't change the fact that Jack's a coldhearted, good-for-nothing, idiotic, stu-"

"I get the point." Oliver smiled, amused, and said, "You know, I don't think that Jack would want you being so… not you."

I scoffed, "And since when did Jack ever care about me?"

"Maybe more than you know." Oliver looked away.

My eyes narrowed, "Isn't he like, your arch enemy? I mean, he totally stole your girl."

"He's looking for you. He called me and asked me if I'd seen you. Of course, I hung up on him, but he actually sounded concerned."

My face stiffened and I hardened my heart.

_You can't take a hint, can you, Jack? I specifically told you to leave me alone. And what do you do? The exact opposite. _

"Jack is a bastard that pretends to care about me because he thinks it is his duty. Let him search and make a fool out of himself."

Oliver just shrugged.

"So what are you going to do about her?" I asked.

Oliver rose his eyebrows with sarcasm, "Wow, you actually care about my feelings. That is so sweet."

"_No_, I just want to see if you are going to have your revenge. Because if you are, I'm in."

He shook his head and his voice turned bitter. "I don't want anything to do with her. But I am her Conduit. I'll be her guardian, but I won't be her friend or lover ever again. I'm sick of her toying with my feelings."

_You got that right. Jack's plays with my feelings like you would a game of checkers._

Oliver got up saying, "I'll be right back."

_He's probably going to go mope in the bathroom._

I stared out the window again. I imagined Schuyler's face and fought the urge to punch the window.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Taking it out, I saw Jack's face appear on the front screen. I squeezed the phone in my hand frustratingly and flipped it open.

"Go to hell." With that, I snapped it shut and felt like yelling: Will you just leave me the heck alone?

And then the plane bumped violently. Then fell. It caught itself then fell a second time. I heard screams. I simply sat, fearless. I looked to the right, beyond Oliver's seat, at the man with his mouth wide open. I almost laughed. Cruel, I know.

_I'll survive this crash, but the humans might not. I have to do something. I may be death, but that doesn't mean I will let them die without doing anything. Think!_

"Bend into crashing positions." A frightened voice came over the receiver. Everyone bent and I did the same. The plane continued to fall.

_What type of pilot is this? He isn't even trying to save our lives! Think!_

But it was too late. We were approaching the ocean. The front of the plane was facing straight down. We would cut right into the water instead of floating.

SSSPPPLLLAAASSSHHH!

We were under the sea. Water was flowing into the plane as it went completely underwater.

_Do something!_

I unlocked my seat belt and waded through the water. Most sat frozen with terror. Oliver and I were in the seats next to the emergency exit.

The life rafts were in the back and front of the plane.

_Damn!_

I went as fast as I could to the back of the plane. I saw emergency life boats. Flight attendants were quivering in fear on the walls.

_What a bunch of wimps!_

I grabbed three lifeboats and waded back to the emergency exit.

"Unlock your seatbelts, everyone! Now. Get a life vest!"

They simply looked at me.

"You idiots! Get off your asses, get a vest, and save your stupid butts!"

They moved and put the yellow life vests around themselves. I yelled the same thing as loud as I could so everyone in the plane could hear me.

"Get ready to swim!" With the life rafts in my arms, I opened the emergency exit. Water came pouring into the plane and it was filled quickly. The familiar, uncomfortable snake of the water ran up my spine. I swam out and gestured for them to follow. I kicked and saw the light above the surface. My head went above and I took a big gulp of air. I pulled the tabs on all the life rafts and they quickly inflated. Taking a huge breath, I went back under and helped people up to the rafts. The vests did most the work, I have to admit.

_Wait, where's Oliver? _I thought as I helped an old woman in the raft.

I dove into the water and swam as fast as I could. I entered the sinking plane and pushed my arms on the seats to give me a boost. I approached the bathroom and bust in. Oliver was lying on the floor, his eyes closed. Probably hit his head when the plane bumped. I took his wrist and put my arm around him. As I swam out of the plane, I wondered what would happen when we got to Austria, _if _we got to Austria. Will I pull it together and head back home? Or would I wimp out? Jack would be gone either way. And he'll never come back.

I continued to kick. The light seemed so close. We burst out of the water and I coughed. Oliver was limp in my arms. Two men came to help and they pulled Oliver out of the water. I climbed into the raft and collapsed, gasping. I crawled to where Oliver was lying and pressed my finger to his neck. He barely had a pulse. I put my ear to his heart and got the same result. Barely alive.

But my eyebrows furrowed in anger. "Oliver! Oliver, wake up! This isn't funny! You can't just die! We didn't get our revenge! Oliver, if you don't wake up right now!"

He just lied there, motionless.

"Oliver, stop it! Don't make me… Damn you."

I pressed my lips to his before I could stop myself. I blew air into him, and as my mouth pushed on his, I had a flashback.

**I pressed my lips to Valerius'. I blocked off my thoughts to him. He doesn't like it when I put a wall between us.**

_**Abaddon, why kiss me so passionately when you know you kiss Gabrielle the same exact way? Why distract yourself with her when you always come back to me?**_

"**What are you thinking about, Agrippina? Is there something troubling you?" Valerius noticed my block in the glom.**

**I shook my head. "No."**

"**I don't like it when you keep secrets from me." He said with a soft, mischievous smile.**

**I looked up at him defiantly. "Then why do you think you can keep secrets from me? You think I'm blind? I know what you do late in the night. Where you are just before dawn."**

**His eyes widened with shock. **

"**You're with another woman. Gabrielle. Just like the last time. Every single time. You'll never change, Abaddon."**

**I released myself from his embrace and ran out the door, my skirts swooshing around my legs.**

_**This isn't fair.**_

**I felt a hand lock around my wrist.**

"**I'm sorry. I'm not proud of myself. I never meant to hurt you."**

**I refused to look at him. **

"**It ends here. I will not do anything with Gabrielle. I promise."**

**And he didn't. But I knew the truth as he wrapped me in his arms.**

_**You won't this cycle. But the next… it will happen all over again. Like I said, you never change.**_

I lifted away from Oliver.

_I can't believe I just did that!_

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, watching while Oliver coughed up water. His eyes opened and looked at the disgusted look on my face. He managed to smile and said, "I underestimated you, Mimi."

_A lot of people do._


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's kind of ironic how after that, we still made it to Austria. Well, not exactly Austria. So what, we're in Northern Ireland. It's still Europe.

As we opened the door to our room, I thought:

_Why are we staying at a crappy inn when we could be at a five-star hotel? And why in HELL are we sharing it?_

Oliver saw the look on my face as I gaped at the two beds, dull brown table, wooden chair, and small bathroom. He laughed and said, "Oh, come on. It's only for a couple nights. And besides, Jack would expect you to be at a five-star hotel. And since you're phone's dead 'cause of the crash, he can't track you. Just block him off in the glom and he's stuck. It's perfect."

He walked over and put his duffel bag on a bed.

"You know, Mimi, maybe if you focused less on being so cold, you might actually might not be so bad."

"Don't push it, Perry. Just because I saved your life doesn't mean I like you. You got lucky yesterday and I hope you know it." I scowled.

Oliver just smirked.

* * *

I was starting to feel it the next day. That… emptiness. That feeling that half of you is gone. Me and Jack had been apart continents long before this. But this feeling, this feeling that I was not complete. That the bond was being broken.

I couldn't find the will to get out of bed. Oliver had shaken me awake at 8:30 am.

"What?" I had asked groggily, my head still under the blanket, eyes closed.

"Good morning. Breakfast is at 9." He said cheerfully and lifted the blanket. Sunlight rushed in from the open window and I shut my eyes tighter. I started clawing my hand around for the blanket without opening my eyes. I heard Oliver's chuckle.

_What is wrong with him? We are in Ireland, in a cheap hotel, sharing the same room, and we practically hate each other! And not to mention that Jack has betrayed me for the who-knows-how-many-eth time! And he just got punched in the stomach _(not literally) _by the Van Alen bitch! How is it possible that he is happy?_

"Go away. I'm tired." I finally got hold of the blanket and pulled it back over my head.

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked, confused. "You didn't eat dinner yesterday."

I just groaned.

"Don't you want breakfast?" There was a pause and then he said, "It's happening, isn't it? The bond. Are you going to end up like Allegra?"

Anger shot through me. Allegra Van Alen. I _hated_ her. I almost hated her as much as I hate Jack. Of course, I could never hate anyone as much as I hate Jack, but Allegra and Schuyler come pretty close. Allegra Van Alen stole Abaddon's heart time and time again and I had to work every cycle to remind him of who he is. Allegra Van Alen has ruined my life for thousands of years. She's a manipulative, seducing, cruel person who brings _my _Abaddon to her like a moth to a light. She calls herself pure, but she's a thieving ass. And she made it worse this cycle. She brought her daughter into the mix, and now I hate her even more. Allegra Van Alen is a heartbreaker, a hideous heartbreaker. She hurts Michael and Abbadon and me. She falls in love with a pathetic human and then, like the wimp she is, falls asleep without fulfilling her purpose. Allegra Van Alen… a conniving, devious bitch.

My eyes flashed open and I sat up in bed before one could blink, looking at Oliver angrily, "Don't _ever_ say that name again in my presence! Never! She is a selfish, weak, devious bitch! She ruined my life! She ruined Jack's life and Charles' life! And I will _never_ forget it!"

I wasn't Mimi anymore. I was Azrael, the angel of death. My eyes had turned from emerald green to black, the iris and pupil blended together. (Author's Note: I know that her eyes don't actually change color, but I wanted to add some effect, lol.) My teeth had clenched in hatred. And Oliver backed away with fear in his eyes.

I don't know why it bothered me, but it did. I tried to calm down and saw relief come over his features as my eyes changed back. I looked down, embarrassed, and said, for no reason at all, "I'm sorry."

He sat on the bed next to me with a smile. "I understand. And I can't believe you just said that."

I glanced up at him, expecting one of the bad comments about Allegra, "What?"

He laughed, "I never thought I'd see the day when Mimi Force would apologize to me! Man, I should have had a video camera!"

I hit him on the arm, irritated, and fell back on the pillow, pulling up the blanket. I felt Oliver get up and he said, "Well, I guess I'll be going then."

I heard the shower turn on and fell back asleep.

Now I felt a tickling on my cheek. My face scrunched and I turned over on my side. Then I felt it again. I turned again and still felt it.

"Go away, Oliver." I opened my eyes and saw him shaking a piece of my hair on my face. Laughing, he let it go.

"I knew that would wake you up. I brought you breakfast." He handed me a parfait and a spoon.

"I'm not hungry," I grumbled, putting them on the bedside table. And then I was puzzled. "Why are you being so nice to me? We're supposed to hate each other."

"We don't have to hate each other. And besides, if you stay like this, I might actually consider being your friend."

"I don't need a friend. I don't need anyone." But as soon as the words came out, I knew they were false. I did need someone. I needed Jack. I'd always needed Jack.

Oliver let it go and smiled, showing that he knew I was lying.

"I'm going to check out town. You want to come?" He went to get his wallet and phone from the table.

I shook my head and he walked out the door with a wave. I closed the curtains, welcoming the comforting darkness. I tried to fall back asleep, but I ended up sitting on the bed with my legs curled up to my chest. I got lost in my memories, happy and sad blending together.

**I talked politely with the elders at the ball. Their bland ball gowns and old pearls showed their serenity, authority, and age. You could tell how the girls in their teens wore vibrant yellows, light creams, and autumnal oranges. I felt a light tap on my arm.**

**I turned around and saw Christina, my friend. She said, "I am very sorry to interrupt, but there is someone I would like you to meet, Elisabeth."**

**The older women nodded respectfully and walked away.**

**Christina took my hand and led me through the crowd to a man. I looked at him and my mouth fell open. He was beautiful. Bright green eyes and dark brown hair. It wasn't as dark as my midnight black hair, but his eyes… they matched mine. The same emerald green, the same flare when you get excited, the same way they brighten when you become happy.**

**Mine were brightening and flaring right now and so were his.**

"**Elisabeth, this is Louis D'Orleans. Louis, this is Elisabeth Lorraine-Lillibonne." **

**Christina's voice was so distant, I could barely hear her at all. I just couldn't stop staring into his eyes. And then I knew. It was him. It was Abaddon. The one my heart had been searching for. I had found him, my twin, my soul mate, the person who I was to be with forever. **

**

* * *

**

"**Lisa, Lisa, please let me explain!" Louis' voice echoed down the hall in which I ran.**

**The image still haunted me every time I closed my eyes. Coming home from an afternoon tea banquet. Wondering why the house was so silent. Calling Louis' name. Checking each door until I opened his bedroom door. My heartbroken gasp at seeing Louis and Marie kissing on the bed, Marie in her undergarments. **(Author's Note: Marie is Gabrielle.)** Tears coming to my eyes as I ran from the door.**

**Louis continued to call out my name. He caught up to me and locked his hand around my wrist.**

"**Let me go!" I cried, tugging at my arm.**

"**Lisa, I'm sorry!" Louis' eyes pleaded with mine. But they weren't the eyes of the young fifteen year-old boy I had seen at the ball. They were the eyes of a eighteen year-old man who had betrayed his love. Again.**

**My voice turned cold. "I know. You were last time too."**

**He took my hands, "I've changed, Lisa."**

**But it didn't fool me. "It's just a game to you, isn't it? You just love to toy with my feelings! I give you all I have, and it still isn't enough! I'm never enough for you!"**

"**Lisa, I-"**

"**Do it." I interrupted him stiffly. "Just do it."**

"**Do, what?"**

"**Let me down. Rip it off. Just like you did last time!"**

**Louis gripped my hands harder but I jerked them away. He said, "I'm sorry. Just give me one more chance!"**

"**I did. I've been giving you chances for thousands of years. And every time, you waste them. Goodbye Louis." I began to turn away, more tears coming down my face. I walked to the door. Just as I was about to step out, I felt a firm hold on the back of my upper arms.**

"**It's not over for us." Louis spun me around and kissed me with force. He broke away to say, "I love you."**

_And I was stupid enough to believe him._

I looked up from my knees and pressed my fingers to my face. They came back wet and glistening. I had been crying, just as Elisabeth had.

_Elisabeth, Agrippina, Susannah, all of their hearts were broken by the same person. And most importantly, Azrael's heart was repeatedly broken by Abaddon's betrayals. _

Oliver suddenly walked in the room with a hey. Closing the door behind him, he looked at me and his eyes widened. As he walked closer, he said, "Have you been crying?"

I quickly tried to wipe away my tears and muttered, "No."

Oliver smiled sympathetically, and handed me a poster. "While I was out in the town, I heard there was a masquerade party at one of the clubs. You want to go?"

I shook my head immediately, remembering the masquerade after party to the 400 Ball. Jack and I had been walking through the crowd, saying hello, laughing, exchanging thoughts no other person could hear. I told Jack I needed to go to the ladies' room. I also told him to meet me in the living room. After returning from the restroom, I waited for him. I twirled my drink and turned down all the offers to dance from the desperate Blue Bloods. I decided I wouldn't wait any longer and began to walk around the apartment. Jack appeared next to me with a small, secret grin on his face and I asked him where he's been. He made a lame excuse and blocked me off. I think I know where he was now…

"It will be fun," he insisted, "You need to get out of this hotel room. Come on, since when does Mimi Force turn down a good party? I thought you would be thrilled, but I guess you're just too busy moping…" Oliver winked at me to show he was kidding, but his words stung. I hadn't been acting like myself. And if I wanted to forget Jack, then I needed to start being my old self. I have been acting weak lately, but I'll show him that I'm anything but weak.

I stared up at him defiantly. "Fine, but I need a dress and a mask."

Oliver smiled, "That's what I'm talking about."

* * *

We entered another shop. Oliver had found a white button-up shirt and slacks 3 shops ago, but I was still looking. All these dresses were too… fancy. I knew the old me would have loved them, but I decided to go simple this time and let my natural beauty shine. Oliver held up a blue spaghetti strap with sapphires. I shook my head. He showed me a short-sleeve yellow dress with a thick black belt. Again, I shook my head. A pink long sleeve-No. A low-cut green with emeralds-No. An orange with over-the-shoulder straps-No. Oliver sighed and held up a simple knee-high, black strapless.

_That's the one._

I finally nodded and he breathed out in relief. As I paid for it, I realized this was the first time I have ever bought a dress that had cost under a hundred dollars. It's a miracle. Next we needed to find masks. We walked into a costume shop and decided on plain black domino masks. It wasn't like we were in New York or anything.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Oliver and I walked in, smirking at the couples that walked arm in arm, hand in hand, up the staircase. Ha, as if. I would never hold Oliver's arm in a million years. For once, Mimi Force was not the center of attention. If anything, she blended into the crowd more than ever.

We sat on two bar stools, sipping champagne.

"Did Schuyler ever talk to you about the masquerade night?" I asked him.

"Yeah. She said she met some guy… he was really mysterious. Or something like that. I wasn't really in it that night." He replied casually.

The pieces of that night suddenly fit together. Schuyler was at the party. Jack and I were at the party. I went to the restroom, and Jack was alone. Schuyler was alone. He would have worn something over his painted mask. He could have used the alone time to sneak around behind my back. That two-timing, cheating, disgusting, manipulative, sneaking bastard!

_I hate him! I hate him! How could I not have realized! For the first time in my very long life, I had believed that Jack could, for once, be mine and mine alone! And he is still stolen from me, and I didn't even suspect a thing!_

"I know who he was." I tried to calm myself and fight back my anger. I stared at the floor really hard to beat it down.

After a couple seconds, I saw realization come over Oliver's face.

"I see," he said stiffly. Looking at my intense gaze at the tiles, he asked, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that Jack is a disgusting, two-timing weasel. And I'm lecturing myself about being so stupid. All I did was go to the restroom and he still sneaks behind my back. I should have known."

Oliver asked another question almost right after. "What were the thoughts that ran through your mind when you found out?"

I took my time before answering this one. "I think that somewhere deep inside me… I had known all along. I just didn't want to believe it because I had thought that Jack was finally mine. But a couple days ago in the woods, I was eavesdropping on their conversation. They were so stupid, not looking up into the trees. Jack told her he loved her, and I… just snapped. I think my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of: You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. You're supposed to love me. You're supposed to remember me and your past. Who was there, was it Gabrielle, Schuyler, or me. Something like that. Pretty dramatic, huh?"

Oliver shrugged, "I was thinking along the lines of: You sick bastard. How dare you take away the thing that matters most to me. Go to hell. Go to hell." We smiled at each other knowingly, and I almost laughed. Almost.

We had both shared our thoughts without fault, effortlessly, and had said them so casually, like they were unimportant. Something that didn't matter. Because they didn't. No matter how many times we thought for Jack or Schuyler to go to hell, it wasn't going to happen.

I ordered a shot and downed it with one gulp. A girl walked up to where we were sitting. She wore a purple dress with black flats. A mask with purple feathers covered her face. With a voice that totally annoyed me, she said shyly, "Would… would you like to dance with me?" Her nervousness made her voice sound like a squeak and I wanted to shout at her: Find some confidence! If you're going to ask someone to dance, at least have some dignity! Where's your pride?

Oliver stared at her, as if he wasn't sure that she was addressing him.

The girl hesitantly said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realized you had a date."

She then looks at me and I wanted to gag. Oliver? My date? What the hell is wrong with her? Take him! And keep him as long as you like!

Oliver and I both began to speak, but I won. "No! He's not my date. He's a-" I couldn't bring myself to say friend. "-an acquaintance. Go ahead." I gestured to the dance floor with a smile and scowled with disgust as soon as she turned her back. He got up from the stool and looked back at me as he walked into the crowd. I put on a mocking smile and gave a teasing wave. It was obvious he didn't want to dance, especially with her.

Now that Oliver was gone, I tried to think clearly.

_Jack, I know there are some times in our lives when we all have pain and sorrow. But there's always tomorrow and someone to lean on. I was wrong about that last part. I thought I had you to lean on. Every cycle, I fell in love with you. And every cycle, you broke my heart. I've leaned on you for the past few thousand years and you let me fall. Why? Why is it always me? Why do I always have to fight for your love? I shouldn't have to. Haven't you learned by now that I'll always win you back? But not this time. _

_I don't understand, Jack. We're soul mates and you still choose her… Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? I've been here all along so why can't you see that you belong with me? It's me, Jack. It's always been me. It's supposed to be me now. I love you. And underneath all the lies, secrets, and betrayals, I know that somewhere in that cold heart of yours you love me too. _

I hadn't noticed that I'd started crying until someone said, "Miss, are you alright?"

I gasped and saw the small puddle on the bar counter. Nodding, I wiped away my tears and looked up, seeing a masked bartender looking at me concerned. I could see him smile sympathetically in the dark and plucked a tissue out of his pocket, handing it to me. I dabbed on my face to rid of the tears. "Bathroom's down the hall," he whispered. I nodded gratefully and got up.

As I walked down the hall, I wondered why he even bothered. Most bartenders would just stare obviously for long amounts of time while polishing glasses. For some odd reason, he seemed… familiar. What am I talking about? I've never met anyone here and I couldn't even see him in the dark. I entered the bathroom and gaped at myself in the mirror. Streaks ran down my face, my eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and my mascara was smeared. I sighed and wet a paper towel, wiping off the smeared makeup and tear streaks. Reapplying my makeup, I wondered how Oliver's dance was going. Smirking I returned to the bar to see Oliver sitting there. Taking my seat, I sneered, "So how'd it go? I'm sure she was a fabulous dancer."

Oliver glared at me playfully, "Oh, it was great. She stepped on my feet more than a few times, but I'll live."

I gulped down a few more shots and felt someone coming near me. I turned around. And my mouth dropped open.

_What. The. Hell._

_

* * *

_

"Schuyler?" Oliver cried out. I quickly closed my slightly open mouth and composed my face into a cold, heartless, pale stone.

She softly smiled, "Hi, Ollie."

He swiftly remembered that he was angry with her and hardened his face as I had. We rose from our seats.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, anger raging. My eyes were already becoming darker.

"I wanted to find you two. I found out about the crash and knew you were on that plane. After I discovered you were Colerain, Ireland, I followed you. After searching a thousand hotels, I broke into your room and found the flyer. Look, it doesn't matter how I got here. I just wanted you to know that-"

"-that you're sorry?" Oliver cut in. "We know. And frankly, we don't care. Because it doesn't change anything."

The harsh tone in his voice surprised me. He's never angry with her. She's like his Mona Lisa. He adores her. But the venom in his voice showed that he was just as angry with her as I was. Of course, we both hated Jack more, but she wasn't off the hook. Her face fell and she looked like she wanted to reach out to Oliver, though he would never let her.

"Where's Jack?" I hissed, not giving time to recover. She shook her head to get her focus off Oliver and looked to me. She answered, "He's here."

Then I figured it all out. Jack and Schuyler discovered where we were. They followed us to the masquerade. Schuyler would blend into the crowd looking for us and Jack would be a bartender to see if we ordered any drinks. I didn't even need to turn around to know that the "bartender" was right behind me, having the same pitying, apologizing face as Schuyler. Once they found us, they would corner us and make us listen to them. But what was there to hear?

And that's when I ran. I hurried into the crowd and blended in, knowing Jack or Schuyler would never create suspicion running too quickly. However, I also knew they wouldn't take their time merging into the bunches of people, so I ran into the lobby squealing, "Help! There's two people after me! Help!"

With that, I ran from the building and down the street, my body a blur. My feet moved quickly and I jumped onto a low roof and then to a higher one in the rectangular buildings. Racing across the buildings, jumping roof to roof, I fled. From Jack. From Schuyler and Oliver. From everything.

I just wanted to be alone. Why was that so hard?

* * *

I sat in the tree, staring up at the moon. I had lost them on the roofs and now I could hear the sirens. Guess that clerk was good for something. The woods were outside of the town and the only light was the moon. The silver crescent shone brightly and I wondered whether the angel of the moon was just as beautiful. I looked down at the ground and saw complete darkness. My home. The dark was always my home. No matter how many times I wanted to reach up and grasp the light, I couldn't. The darkness was my home, where I belonged. I would never belong anywhere else. And I guess that's why Jack doesn't love me. 'Cause I'll never try to leave my home. What he doesn't realize is that it's his home too. It's the home we share. But it's never enough for him. Michael, Gabrielle, and Schuyler all live in the light, the brightness. We live the dark, the blackness. Sometimes, I want to change. I want to be part of the light. Just to see what it feels like… and so Jack would love me. Cherish me.

That's when I heard the slightest movement. But I already knew.

"Hey, Jack." I didn't take my gaze off of the moon and knew that he was in the closest tree, on the branch that was the same height as mine. Jack would never try to talk to me on the ground. He always talked to me while looking at my face.

"Hi, Mimi." I could hear his soft voice a few yards away from me. "I want you to listen to me."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Please. I'm begging you." He pleaded me with that desperate, apologizing voice. Just like he does every time. But nope. Not this time.

I remained silent, but vowed to not let him fool me again.

"I…I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It was wrong. And I never should have underestimated you or your feelings. You just seem so…" He trailed off and I glared at his dark silhouette.

"What? What, Jack? I seem cold? Heartless? Like I don't care about how many times you betray me? Like it never hurts every time you stab me in the back? Like it doesn't matter how many times you leave me? I'll just forgive you every time? Well, I'm done. I've waited. You made your choice. It's over. So leave me alone."

I looked at the moon and knew Jack wasn't going to budge.

"You can trust me."

"Why do you expect me to believe that? If I've learned anything in the past few thousand years, it's that you can't be trusted. You have a long string of lies and you're still convinced you're innocent. Well, I'm done putting my faith in someone who's just going to break me. … And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I can't be what you want. I'm sorry I'm not Schuyler. And I'm sorry that I'm never going to shine. Gabrielle and Schuyler bring life. That's what you love. Their brightness, their light. Everyone loves them. Their the good guys, the heroes. And I'm the dark spot on the white cloth. The bad guy, the evil villain. Everyone fawns over life, including you. But who could love death? That's right, no one. So why even try to be loved? But I was stupid and thought that you could… 'cause you're destruction. But even destruction can be used for good. Me, however… I'll never be good." Silently, I said, _No one will ever love me… _Tears were filling my eyes. Maybe Abaddon had never been who I was meant to be with. Because I wasn't meant to be with anyone. Every vampire has a soul mate, but not me. I'm not capable of being loved. Death is powerful. Death is one in itself. But it'll always be alone.

"I love you, Mimi."

"Liar. If you loved me… then you wouldn't have even glanced at Gabrielle. If you loved me, then you wouldn't have kissed Schuyler at the masquerade. Stop pretending. It hurts more to see you fake your feelings. I know that I can't be loved. So stop making this harder than it has to be." A few tears ran down my face and I let them fall.

I jumped down from the branch, my ankles not quavering when they hit the hard forest floor. Jack followed me and I looked at the moon through the braches. It shines so brightly. Just like I never could.

Jack walked up behind me and put his arms around me. "Mimi," he said into my hair, "I'm really, truly sorry."

_You're not fooling anyone but yourself._

And that's when I took his arm and flung him against a tree. I could see his shock-filled eyes through his mask and he stared at me in fear. I knew my eyes were coal black. God, that felt _so _good. I walked up slowly to him.

"You're not. Trust me, I know. You weren't sorry last time and you're not sorry this time. The only thing you're sorry for is that you got caught. Newsflash, Jack. I'm not buying it."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Ollie, I'm sorry."

"Schuyler, I loved you. You knew how much I did. I've given my life to protecting you. I let you drink my blood. Why would you do this to me?"

Oliver and Schuyler stood alone in a small storage room.

"I-I don't know. I've just been so confused." She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Not good enough," Schuyler heard a barely audible whisper and then felt a small breeze. Opening her eyes, she looked at the wide open door. Oliver was gone. But he was right. It wasn't good enough. Every time she even glanced at Jack, she was hurting him. Every time she blew off his feelings, she was putting him in pain. Saying she was confused wouldn't change anything. Because Oliver was in agony, and it was all her fault.

Oliver ran through the club, pushing people aside. Ignoring their complaints, he spotted Mimi curled up on a low roof. Her dark silhouette stood out against the moon. Climbing up a nearby ladder, he walked up to her trembling form.

"You okay?" he asked hesitantly.

She looked up, her eyes glossy and unseeing. Speaking more to herself, she said, "No. It's pathetic how terribly weak I am."

No tears were on her face, but he could see her eyes filling.

_You're not weak. You're stronger than I'll ever be_, Oliver thought silently.

* * *

Jack and Schuyler had fled after that night. Wise choice. I'm pretty sure the Committee has figured it out, Charles at least. Another of Jack's betrayals. As I stood at the door of the Force mansion, I felt like exploding. It just didn't feel right without Jack. I closed my eyes.

"**Mimi! Mimi! Are you alright?" 9-year-old Jack came bounding down the stairs. Bending to examine my seriously sprained ankle, I saw the water in his eyes. With tears of pain already coming down my face, I felt like crying harder seeing him hurting over my injury. I put my hand gently over his. His fingers were like feathers running over my foot. **

**Pain ran through my ankle, but I smiled as Jack looked up at me, his eyes glistening.**

"**I'm alright. I just tripped. I'm fine." I pulled him into a hug. It felt so right. My arms around his neck. His hands protectively holding my back. His tears falling into my shoulder.**

_**It's alright. **_**I soothed. **_**I'm okay.**_

_**I'm so sorry. **_**He replied silently through the glom. **_**I'm so sorry. I**__**won't ever let you get hurt again.**_

_Liar. That damn liar. _

I unlocked the door and strode in. To be met by Charles and Trinity.

"Oh, Madeleine. My poor Madeleine." Trinity put her arms around me. I kept my face cold and hard as a rock. I didn't want to talk to Charles. I didn't want to be babied by Trinity. I wanted to be alone. Something I haven't done for a very long time. Because Jack was always there.

"In my office," Charles said curtly and walked away. Trinity stared after him and gave me a small smile. I set down my suitcase and followed him, my body weak and frail from my lack of eating in the past week.

Sitting down in the chair across from his desk, he questioned me:

"Where have you been for the past week?"

I answered shortly, "In Ireland."

"Where in Ireland?"

"Colerain."

"Is it Abaddon?"

I nodded. "This time it's with her daughter."

"Will he come back?"

"I don't know," I shrug lightly.

"Do you know what you have to do if he does?"

"Yes," I replied quietly.

"Good." Then the Regis part of him disappeared and he looked at me not as Azrael, or the Angel of Death, but as Mimi Force, his daughter. "I'm sorry. I suppose we all knew it was coming in one way or another. When?"

"About a week ago. I followed them into the forest and… and he told her that he loved her. He said it made him forget about me and that he didn't love me. That he's stuck in a relationship with someone he doesn't care about. And I… I snapped." I felt a tear fall. And another. And another. I clutched a handful of ringlets as I watched the tears make small spots on my jeans.

"I don't know what to do. It seems no matter how hard I try, he keeps slipping away. One touch and I feel fire, but I know he feels ice. One look and I feel adoration, but I know he feels resentment. He can't love me because nobody can. People like Schuyler and Gabriel just have this hold on him. And who could love death but destruction? Is that how it's supposed to work, Michael? At the very end of the story, I'll be alone? ….. Death. He hates it. Everybody hates it. Death is cruel. Death is unfair. Death brings nothing but pain and sorrow. Everyone fawns over life. It's beautiful. It's amazing. Jack loves life. So how could he love death?"

Charles was silent and spoke hesitantly, "Death is a part of life. Without death, there is no life. Don't wish you're someone else. I can't understand something, though."

I was confused. What couldn't he understand?

"If Abaddon's so unfaithful, or what you teenagers call 'players', why are so loyal to him?"

The question… it was unanswerable. I just spit something out. "I… I don't know. I just can't leave him, no matter how unfaithful he is. There's a pull that can't be ignored. I guess he just doesn't see it… or maybe it isn't there at all."

"What do you mean?"

I stood up and cried, "Look at me! I'm death! Death! So how could someone who loves life ever love death? I'm incapable of being loved. Even destruction can be used for good. But who could love death? Life, light, brightness. That's what Jack loves. Not… this dark monster."

I didn't stay to see Charles face. I was already walking out the door, heart cold as ice. Running up to my room, I ignored Trinity on the staircase. Pulling on my only one piece swimsuit, I wrapped myself in a robe and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. I hurried downstairs to the pool, waiting to see the pool cleaned of all the gifts I had thrown in it before leaving for Europe. Instead, there they were. The jewelry sunken to the bottom, the teddy bears floating at the top, and the dress pushing against the side. Then, I saw something even more astonishing. Jack was sitting at the edge of the pool, his bangs over his eyes, staring at the gifts. He reached in front of him and grabbed the dress. I swear I saw a tear in his eye.

"What are you doing here?" I said harshly.

He looked up innocently. But, no. He's not innocent. He's not innocent at all.

Suddenly, I remember when we were young. We would play in the pool. Jack loved to swim, but I didn't like the water. So he splashed around in the water while I would sit on the sides. He asked me every time to get in with him, but I insisted on staying out of the pool. When he wanted to race with me, he would swim and I would run. I always beat him. One day, he told me that he would stay on the side of the pool with me. I let him for about 5 minutes. But it wasn't fun. Because he wasn't happy on the side of the pool. He wanted to be in the water. I could see it in his eyes how he yearned to engulf himself in its embrace. So I told him to get in. But he tried to persuade me he was fine. That's when I pushed him in. When he came up, I was laughing. He grabbed my ankle and pulled me in the pool. Although the water was shallow, I screamed and thrashed around in the water until wrapping my arms around Jack's neck. I could feel his warm breath on my ear as he said: "I'm right here, Mimi. I promise not to let go."

After that, I would join him in the pool sometimes and he taught me how to swim. I never enjoyed the water as much as him though, but I would get in to make him happy. That's what mattered to me.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was crossing over to where he was and shoving him in the back. He fell into the pool. As if it were happening all over again, I was trying not to let out a laugh as he came up, shock in his eyes. Just as before, he grabbed my ankle and I toppled in after him. When I came up, my arms instantly wrapped around his neck, a smile on my face. God, he looked good when he was wet. He touched his forehead to mine. It couldn't have felt more right. This was where I belonged: in his arms.

"I miss you, Azrael." He whispered.

_I miss you, Azrael. _Those were the same lines he used every time. And they always worked. Somehow, someway, they always worked. He didn't look guilty at all with those words across his lips. The way my name came out of his mouth… it was so…

No! He doesn't miss me! He wants me gone! He wants to forget about me! That's why he did it. That's why he hooked up with her!

I pulled away from him and got out of the pool. He got out as well and said, "What's wrong, love?"

"Don't call me that," I said darkly, "Do I need to remind you of what you said? Let me see… 'I love you, Schuyler. You help me forget about Mimi who I don't love and you save me from a terrible relationship. You brighten my day when it's darkened by her bitchiness.' Yep, I think that about covers it." I kept my back turned to the entire time and let the sarcasm drip into my voice to hide the pain of remembering how much it hurt to hear those words in the woods.

"I never meant to hurt you." he whispered, obviously having no defense for what he said.

"Then leave." I reply coldly.

Suddenly, I'm on the ground, Jack on top of me. His hands were gripping my wrists and his face was fierce. But I felt no fear. The Angel of Death does not feel fear. I stared at him, my face emotionless and chilled as ice.

He yelled in my face, "Why do you do that? I'm telling you that I miss you and everything is fine! Then you're drawing away again!"

I spoke softly and slowly, my glare locked with his. "Then maybe you should stop messing with my emotions."

His grip lightened and his face drained of anger. Suddenly, someone pulled him off me. Charles and Trinity were holding his arms.

"We are very disappointed in you, Benjamin. Very disappointed." Trinity said solemnly.

They led him off to be held for trial and I lie on the floor, tears erupting in my eyes. Jack came back. Why? He knew what would happen. Even though it's never gone this far before, he knew what I would have to do. And it was something that had never happened before. Something that I had trouble even thinking about.

* * *

The black cloak sat heavily on my shoulders, although it was lightweight material. It reminded me of my trial in Italy. This time, I wasn't the one in trouble. I took my seat and closed my eyes, the hood hiding my face.

I heard Charles voice. "Abaddon, known as Benjamin Force in this cycle, are you willing to confess the crime you have committed?"

These questions were so stupid and pointless. We all know what he's done. So why not just get to sentence?

"I am," Jack said stably.

"What is it that you have done?" His voice was emotionless and firm.

I could feel his eyes on me as he said his next words. "I have broken the bond between myself and Azrael, otherwise known as Madeleine Force, with Schuyler Van Alen, the daughter of Gabrielle. I am guilty."

"Azrael, reveal youself." Charles commanded me. With this, I opened my eyes, stood from my seat, and took off the hood, my eyes cast on the floor.

"Is there anything you would like to add before we sentence the accused?" he asked.

"Yes. Abaddon, from our first cycle, I have stood by you. And every time you turned your back on me. I forgave you and managed to keep your heart. But maybe that wasn't how it was supposed to be. Because it wasn't mine to start with. I just hope you find the person it does belong to in your next cycle or perhaps you already have." I managed a small smile and sent a message to him: _I just wish it had been me._

I could see the pity on the Committee's faces, and they were obviously thinking: _That poor girl. She doesn't deserve this. Although she is cold and cruel, even the Angel of Death should not have to suffer this pain._

Having people on your side is so much fun; all you have to do is say something totally melodramatic. However, those words were actually quite true, now that I thought about it.

Jack's eyes were openly displaying it; he was haunted. He was being chased down by is memories, being forced to watch them and his betrayals. But he was also being hunted by his desire for Schuyler when he's trying to drown out the sorrow of hurting me.

"Thank you, Azrael. Now, as Regis of the New York Coven, I hereby declare that you, Abaddon, the Angel of Destruction, are sentenced to death by your bond mate. She alone has the right to take your life, as you have taken her heart. If any disagree with the sentence, please say 'I'."

An echoing silence answered Charles and he continued. "Furthermore, Benjamin Force will be punished for his crime at midnight."

This concluded the trial and I was out of the room before most of the Committee had even stood from their seats. I don't want to take Jack's life. But Charles is right. The only one who has the authority and right to kill him is me. He's killed me on the inside for thousands of years, and it's like I had to give myself CPR. He didn't put my heart back together. I put it back together myself. Which is why I am able to stop his.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey. This is my first author's note. I just wanna say thanks for the reviews, comments, support, all that. It's really appreciated. I gotta admit, I kinda borrowed a tiny part of this from someone else's story. I can't really remember their name at the moment, but I'm sorry and hope you're not mad. Well, hope you read this, hope you like it, and hope you review. Bla Bla Bla…**

Chapter 5

The clock was ticking and I was preparing to carry out the death sentence of Jack Force. God, why did this feel so wrong? I had every right to do this. Yet, I felt so guilty and empty.

A couple hours earlier, I had gone into _our _room, the place where we could hang out or just have private conversations where no one would listen. I had looked at the love seat, at the fancy keyboard that had my name engraved into it, at the books on the shelves (most of mine were Jane Austen), at the flat screen TV in the corner, at the pictures on the walls, at the treadmill I would walk on while Jack sat on the small couch eating.

'It's not like you need to exercise.' He would always say. 'Shut up,' I'd reply, 'I'm trying to retain my 109 pound weight here.' With a smirk, he'd pop a chip into his mouth.

On our wall of memories, each picture was special. The first in line was salvaged from Rome, a portrait of two beautiful people, both of their eyes emerald green. The second on the list was from after the Mayflower landed. We had stood on a rock, Jack's arms around me. I could remember. His embrace was so warm and he wound his finger around the strands of hair that came loose from my bonnet. I continued down the list. One picture after another, all great memories. The seventh was from the Titanic. Jack had been an artist and he had painted me only a couple of days before it sank. We both survived. As I went down the line, I wondered if he even ever looked at these. They meant so much to me, but how much did they mean to him? The last one was from recently. We were both fifteen, and we were standing on a ski mountain, snowboards tucked under our arms. Our other, free arms were around each other's backs. It was beautiful.

I snapped out of it and focused on getting ready.

Charles had asked me to wear black, which really suited my mood. The midnight nail polish had dried half an hour ago. I pulled on the strapless, black dress I wore to the masquerade in Ireland and pinned back the front part of my hair before letting the ringlets fall freely. Fastening a thin black belt around my waist, I stuck my dagger into the belt, the silver blade sharp and the handle coated in obsidian. Latching a silver locket around my neck, I realized that this was the only gift Jack gave me that I had not thrown in the pool. I just couldn't bring myself to do it; it was special, the silver shining and the emerald imbedded in it glistening. I put on the cloak from the trial and cover my head and face with the hood. Finally, I stepped into knee-high, black, lace-up boots.

I walked down the hall to where Jack was. He lay on the alter, ropes surrounding his wrists, ankles, and hips, but his heart was still clear. Besides the guard at the door on the outside, the room was empty. Jack's eyes were wide open when I approached him.

"Are you scared, Mimi? Of death?" he asked lightly.

This question was something that I did not hesitate to answer, "Why should I be? I stare it in the face every day."

There was coldness in my words that were as true as something could be true. I could see his understanding and he opened his mouth to speak his last words.

"I'm ready," he whispered, his voice slightly shaking. He closed his eyes.

I took the dagger out of my belt and raised it into the air.

(Jack's POV)

My bare chest was cold and I could hear Mimi's uneven breathing. Suddenly, I felt a drop of water on my chest. Immediately opening my eyes, I saw tears falling from Mimi's eyes and landing on me. The dagger was still raised in the air, shaking in her grasp.

"Why does it have to be like this?" she said. "Why? What did I do to ever deserve this?" She began shouting at me. "I know that I'm not perfect! I know that you can't love me! But why lie to me and cheat on me and take it all away? Don't you remember? 'It's you and me against the world.' That's what you said. Did it mean nothing? Cause it meant something to me." Her tears were coming down faster and it was as if she were crying up a flood.

God, how I wanted to reach up to her and tell her to stop crying. Mimi doesn't cry. Not like this, anyways. But the ropes held me in place.

Gaining a little control over herself, she whispered, "Jack, tell me this. Tell me right now. Every time that your lips touched Gabrielle's or Schuyler's, tell me, did my face flash through your mind? For even the slightest second. Did you feel any remorse? Any regret? Anything that told you that it was wrong, that it was hurting me… Did you?"

I thought back to ancient Egypt. When God called on Azrael to swoop over Egypt and take the lives of the firstborns. I watched her as she took flight, but I turned away after she faded from sight. I ran to Gabrielle's door. She opened up and allowed me inside, a smile on her face. I remember pressing my lips to hers, and yes, for the slightest fraction of a second, I could see Azrael's face. Smiling at me with one of those rare smiles. Her eyes full of trust and faith. Trust and faith that I was betraying.

"Yes," I returned in a soft voice. "I did. But it wasn't enough. I'm sorry, but it just wasn't enough to stop me."

She stared down at me, an eternal sorrow in her eyes. She raised the dagger even higher, and I closed my eyes as she brought it down.

…..

_Is this what a knife in your heart is supposed to feel like? Maybe I just died so quickly I didn't have time to feel the pain. _

But no, I could feel the stone alter beneath my fingers. I wasn't dead. But how could I be alive?

I opened my eyes and yep, there I was, still lying on the alter. And Mimi wasn't stabbing a knife into my chest. She was slashing the ropes.

"Listen to me and listen hard," she whispered fiercely. "I'll knock out the guard and you make a run for the east door. Don't look back. I'll get the guard's car keys and you get the hell out of here. Got it?"

I nodded and she slashed the last of the ropes. I hopped up from the alter and we stepped silently to the door. Hiding in the shadows, I watched as she opened the door and nodded at the guard to tell him the job was finished. Then, she banged her forehead into his and he fell unconscious to the floor. Grabbing the keys from his pocket, we ran to the east door. She handed me the keys.

"Don't forget me." She whispered. I know I could never forget her. I was about to head out into the night, or morning, until stopping in the doorway.

"Come with me." I said.

"Wha-What?"

"I want you to come with me. Please, I'm begging you. Leave it all behind." I faced her as I said this.

I saw the glimmer of hope in her eyes for a fraction of a second, but it was quickly replaced with coldness again.

"You're lying." she whispered.

"No, I'm not. I want you-"

"Liar! If you want me, then you wouldn't feel anything when you think of Schuyler. You wouldn't have desired one thing when you looked at Gabrielle. Why do you do this to me? Is… Is it because they're better than me? Prettier than me?… Or do you just not love me anymore?"

I froze. Her questions were overwhelming me. I thought back to a week ago.

"_I'm stuck in a relationship with someone I don't love."_

I was silent and she pressed, "Well do you?"

I could not open my mouth as I thought of the other words.

"_You make me forget about Mimi."_

Mimi took my silence as enough of an answer and she lowered her head.

"I see." I saw the tears glistening in her eyes. She turned to close the door and walk away from me…

"Wait!" I put my hand in the door. "I do love you! I could never stop loving you. It's you and me against the world."

My voice had slowed to a whisper as I repeated the words that I had always spoken.

_It's you and me against the world._

Because it was. We were different, me and her. We weren't like the rest. Good, kind. We could be, but there were parts of us that would always belong to the darkness.

"You…you really mean that?"

_I do. _I sent her telepathically.

Slowly, one of those rare smiles crept up on her face and she pushed open the door, grabbed my hand, and ran with me into the night.

Less than an hour later, we had dropped by the house, grabbed a few belongings, and were on the highway going anywhere, really. Mimi had her head on my shoulder, a small smile across her lips as she slept.

Suddenly, her eyebrows furrow and she mumbles in her sleep. "Abaddon, please, don't leave me. It's… it's you and me against the world."

I stared at her guiltily as I drove, looking up every now and then. She was dreaming about me leaving her. I would never. I have before, but never again. I'll never leave her. I know that now.

When it was Mimi's turn to drive, I asked her, "What- What were you dreaming about?"

"Nothing," she said solemnly. I already knew what it was, but I wanted to hear the words out of her own mouth. Seeing that I was pressing and wouldn't let it go, she sighed.

"I dreamed that you were abandoning me for her… that you were never coming back. I was begging you to stay…" She trailed off and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I've had a lot of those, anyway."

_A lot?_

She's terrified of me leaving? She always gets me back, anyways. But she's has multiple dreams about me abandoning her? Oh, Azrael, you're always so strong. How have I broken your strength?

We changed shifts again and decided we were far enough away when we crossed the northern border of North Carolina. Pulling into the parking lot of a hotel, I gently shook Mimi awake. She blinked her eyes open and smiled softly at me.

"Hey."

"Hey." I replied. We got our duffel bags (which I finally convinced Mimi was the best choice), checked in, and went into our room. It was large and very suitable.

"Thank God," Mimi whispered. "I was so sick of that stupid inn in Ireland."

The thought of her and Oliver in Ireland made me flinch. I knew she wouldn't dare do anything to him; she had been too out of it. But still, just her being there without me, _because_ of me, made me feel uncomfortable, only in the comfort of Oliver Hazard-Perry.

We both fell asleep quickly, barely taking the time to change and put on sweats and t-shirts. As she closed her eyes, I eased behind her and wrapped my arm around her back, intertwining my hand with hers. A smile of pleasure crept up on her lips and one thought left my mind before I lost consciousness.

_This is where I belong._

"**Schuyler! Schuyler hold on!" I was running towards the girl who hung off the side of the cliff. A random Silver Blood stood laughing cruelly as her fingers continued to slip from the edge. **

"**Don't worry, Schuyler! I'm coming!" My feet continued to move as fast as they could until I heard a voice cry out.**

"**Jack! Jack help me!" I skidded to a halt and whipped around to see Mimi lying on her back, a Silver Blood standing over her. An angel's sword was in his hands and it swung down again and again, the solid stick in Mimi's hands the only thing keeping it from slicing into her. I began to run for her until I heard another pathetic cry.**

"**Jack! I'm slipping!" Turning around, I saw Schuyler's hands clawing at the ground, but she was slipping all the same. Her eyes were wide with fear and I could see her pleading. I would help her right away if it wasn't for the gasping breaths of Mimi behind me, the sword coming closer to piercing her skin.**

**I stood in the middle, wondering which to help. But I couldn't stand there any longer; both would be dead. I decided to help Schuyler off the cliff and go back for Mimi.**

**Once I defeated the Silver Blood and helped Schuyler over the cliff, I heard a sharp cry of pain. I turned around. The Silver Blood had overcome her and a sword was plunged into Mimi's heart.**

_**No. No!**_

**Mimi whispered her last words across my mind.**

_**Goodbye, Abaddon. I love you. Remember: It's you and me against the world.**_

**Then she faded away completely. I dropped to my knees in front of her, tears coming down my face. But there was something I forgot. Schuyler was standing behind me.**

**She wrapped her arms around my back and whispered in my ear. "Now it's you and me against the world, Jack."**

I woke with a start. Mimi. I looked beside me. There she was. Alive. Unharmed. Curled up in my arms, asleep, she had never looked so young. I'd almost forgotten that she was only 16.

"Jack? Jack!" A voice hissed. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and saw a silhouette perched on the balcony. I recognized the voice immediately. Schuyler.

Climbing slowly out of bed so not to wake Mimi, I cracked the sliding door.

"What are you doing here? And why did you leave me in England? You should have told me you were coming here." She whispered.

I opened it wider and her eyes expanded into blue globes as the light from the street shone on Mimi's sleeping form. A contented smile was across her lips and I saw water start to form in Schuyler's eyes.

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry I came. Go back to sleep." She turned away and began to walk back out onto the balcony. I caught her wrist.

"Wait. I'm sorry. Nothing was going to happen. She was helping me run away."

_Why am I lying?_

But the flow of lies kept coming out. "I swear, Schuyler. She was only helping me. You know, to make sure that I made it out of town safely. She was going back soon. She's… she's really not as bad as she seems. But I was coming back to you. I promise."

_What?_

But she seemed to buy it and she smiled. "I knew you wouldn't abandon me after all we've been through to be together. But why did you go back to New York without telling me?"

I made up another lie. "I didn't want you to be worried. Besides, I couldn't leave things the way they were with Mimi. I owed her that much."

Schuyler nodded and I almost felt bad for her; she didn't even know the punishment for breaking a bond. My, she's so young.

I packed my belongings into my bag, wrote Mimi a short note, and went out the balcony with Schuyler. Before dropping into the darkness, I looked back one last time at the sleeping girl in the bed.

_Forgive me._


	7. Chapter 6

**Hope you're liking it so far. I know that last chapter was a bit of a twist, but trust me, you haven't seen anything yet. Tell me what you think should happen; should Mimi end up like Allegra? Will she ever get her happily ever after? You let me know.**

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Chapter 6

(Mimi's POV)

I felt the sunlight shining over my eyelids. My lips turned upward into a grin and I felt that the bed beside me was empty.

_Jack?_

"Jack, can you get me a coffee? Decaf." I mumbled, half asleep. When he didn't reply, I moaned.

"Please, Jack? There's a coffee maker right there." I complained. When I was answered with more silence, I slid off the covers.

"Fine, I'll make it myself." Opening my eyes, I saw that Jack was nowhere to be seen.

"Jack?" I got out of the bed and was surprised I didn't hear his light chuckle, the shower running, or even the TV on.

I waited for him to walk from behind a corner with a smirk, saying, "Scare ya?"

I would have laughed any unease away, poured two cups of coffee, and sat down on the balcony. But I didn't. Because he wasn't here. I could feel it. Had he gone down to breakfast without me? I thought we could just order room service.

I brushed my teeth, trying to block out any worries and took a shower. Getting dressed, I wondered if he could've snuck in while I was in the shower.

I checked the bathroom, behind corners, and the balcony, until I saw the note on the bed. I walked up slowly, afraid of what I would see. As I picked it up and read the words, my eyes widened, my knees wobbled, and my body went numb. Across the small piece of paper were two words in Jack's handwriting.

**I'm sorry**

I had never felt pain like this before. It was excruciating, unbearable. Like a flame burning me alive. God, this isn't right; this isn't right at all. It's never gotten this far. This is the schedule. This is how it's supposed to be:

1) We are together and happy.

2) She catches his attention.

3) He hooks up with her behind my back.

4) I find out.

5) I convince him to come back to me.

6) He returns and she goes with Michael.

7) We live happily ever after.

That's how it works. There's no step 8. No:

8) He abandons me in the middle of the night and deserts me and my feelings for the second time and leaves me nothing but a shitty note about how he's so _sorry_ and breaks my heart. Again.

The piece of paper fell out my hands and floated to the floor. I could hear nothing but the beating of my heart and the uneven breaths in my chest when my knees buckled. I crashed to the floor in a heap. I couldn't do anything. Nothing. I couldn't shout curses. I couldn't cry or sob. I couldn't even move. The pain racked my body and a thousand swords in my chest would never compare to what it felt like.

I saw a notepad on the table and slowly crawled to it. Picking up the pen, I began to write Jack the note I knew he would never read.

**Jack,**

**There's a whole lot of things I can forgive, but this isn't one of them. A liar isn't one of them. It used to be, but not anymore. I've been by your side till the very end and you've pushed me in the fire. I've tried to believe you, but something's been wrong. You won't look in my eyes and tell me the truth. The real, solid truth. The truth I've found out myself, the one you should've told me: You love Schuyler; more than me. I think I understand. I really do. But there are some things I can't understand.**

**Like how you abandon me once, and come back just to break me again. Like how you tell me that you belong with me and tell her the same thing a couple hours later. Like how you say that you want to run away with me, but by dawn you're doing the same thing with her. **

**It's you and me against the world. That's what you said. If it meant anything to you, you wouldn't have left me. I guess you've found a new person to tell that to. Like they say, I guess, honesty is the best policy. And if you can't be honest with me, then you're right. It's the end. **

**If you ever really cared about me, Jack, you would've done just that. You would have told me instead of trying to hold on to my heart. You would have just told the truth. The truth. That's all I ask of you. But now, I don't even know what truth is anymore. Is it being inexplicably honest with each other? Or is it stretching out what happened? Is it flat-out lying? Or is it just plain not telling the other at all?**

**I am asking you this right here and right now. Give it up. Give up trying to hold on to me. Give up trying to keep secrets from me. You can't have two hearts within your palms. It's hers, I know that now, so let me go. That's all I'm asking. Let me go. Stop trying to convince me that it's okay to juggle two women. It's not; it's that simple. **

**Remember this, Jack: I know you better than you know yourself. I can tell when you're in pain, when you're happy, and when you're lying. I ignore the last part, but I refuse to keep lying to myself. I've accepted the truth. I know you're in pain when I take you away from her; so I won't. I know you're happy when you're with her; so I won't interfere. And I know when you're lying; so I won't try to drag the truth out of your answers.**

**The question that I asked; I think you gave the wrong answer. Death. It's what I am and it's all I'll ever be. I can't change that, although sometimes I wish I could. And it's because of what I am that you can't love me. I'm letting go, Jack. It will be easier for all of us.**

**I'm begging you: don't play with my head the next cycle. It's all I want. Even if I spend it like Allegra, then at least I'll know that the other part of me is happy. I am not trying to guilt you back into being with me; I just want you to know that I can never love another. But I can't forgive you either. I need somebody that will love me for who I am, darkness and all; somebody that will be there when I wake up; keep his promises. I know that I'll never find him, but I'll dream that it's you. **

**Remember: It's you and me against the world.**

**Azrael**

That's when I felt the first tear escape and land on my hand. Suddenly, I understood about what I meant in the letter about letting go. Even if I had written it down, my heart had to accept this feeling. This feeling that was beyond what I had ever felt before. That I was falling into a million pieces. And this feeling was telling me one thing:

_I want to die._

I really do. I have no will to live. Like I said (or wrote), I was letting go. This was the only way I knew how.

_I want to die._

It couldn't be more true. As I pulled on a T-shirt and jeans, I couldn't see why I wouldn't want to die. I mean, look at Allegra.

_I want to die._

I didn't really know how. Maybe starve myself. Perhaps I should jump off a cliff. That's the most common.

_I want to die._

I stuffed the note in my pocket. Walking out of the hotel, my eyes straight ahead and unseeing, I put my bag in the car. Maybe I could die of exhaustion from walking to nowhere in particular, never stopping.

I turned around and saw a dense forest behind the hotel. North Carolina was so weird. So green and full of trees. Not right.

I began walking towards the forest, each step reminding me how I was going farther and farther away from everything I ever knew. Duchene. Charles and Trinity. My home. Jack. It was all going away with each knife stabbed in my foot every time I replaced it.

Before I knew it, I was deep into the forest, the new, lace-up boots already molded to my model-like, size 5 ½ feet. I didn't know how much time had gone by until my feet were slugging on the ground. It could have been one hour. It could have been two. It could have been days. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention to anything but the simple fact that had been going on in my head. I bet I've just gone in a circle in these woods, not even realizing it.

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

My back was aching, my feet moaning with each step, and I had no way to navigate myself in this dumb forest. My body on autopilot and my brain repeating the words I think you know by now, I wasn't paying much attention when my toe got stock under the root of a tree, and I fell right over. I didn't feel like getting up and rolled onto my back, stretching out like I was doing a snow angel. And I just lied there, staring at the bit of sky that could be seen through the holes in the treetops.

_This isn't fair. Understatement of the century. Life isn't fair. It never is. If life was fair, there would be no pain. There would be no suffering or betrayal. In fact, if life were fair, then Jack would be in my arms right now and we would be sitting on a balcony, sipping our coffee or tea, happy. But life isn't fair, and quite frankly; life sucks. That's just how it works. At least in my book._

_So many girls have fantasy dreams. The perfect wedding. An enchanting first date. A prince riding up on a white horse. And someday, I hope that will happen for them, although it rarely does. I have to admit, I had some of those too. Except it was a bit different. Jack was riding up on a black horse, offering me his hand. I took it, and we rode away into the night as the moon shone on our path. The green dress I was wearing flew behind us, as I was sitting side-saddle. But it was a perfect picture. One of the few nights that I hadn't dreamt about Jack abandoning me. How I wish it were true._

_There were so many things about me that others didn't know. It was only Jack. He knew that I hated swimming and water made me shudder. He knew that I like reading Jane Austen. He knew I had a passion for music. He knew about the black guitar with silver star studs I kept in my closet. He knew about the keyboard in the room that Charles gave us as a place to hang out. He knew about the chocolate I kept in my dresser. Simple things, yes, but they were still things that I had shared with him and only him. Which is why they are so special._

_Was I afraid of death, he asked. Me. How dare he ask me that. I'm the Angel of Death. What do I have to fear? Does he think that flying over Egypt was fun for me? That I enjoy taking lives? Azrael is many things, but she does not wish death upon those whose parents made the mistakes. Those little boys and girls… so helpless… so innocent…_

_No, I'm done thinking about that. All I know is that Jack never saw me again in the same way. He had never seen me deliberately take so many lives. It's not like I felt pleasure in their deaths, but that's when he began to see what a… what a monster I was. _

_That's what he loves. Light. Something I'll never have. Something that is immediately beyond my reach as an angel of darkness. The blackness of my instinct and how natural it came to me made him feel like I was dangerous, a black cloud. I know I'm damned, but that doesn't mean he isn't. He keeps forgetting that._

The small patch of sky I could see kept getting grayer, and I knew it would rain soon. I didn't make an effort to get up. I remember when we were in Central America, Panama to be exact. We were Native Americans, living in our village. I doubted Jack remembers this one yet; he rarely does for a while. Must be one of his worst that he's trying to forget.

Closing my eyes, I got sucked into my flashback.

"**This is all of your fault, Nukpana! If you hadn't interfered-" He shouted.**

"**Mine?" I said calmly, "I was only trying to keep you with me. She was the one who got in the way. She's the one on the other side of the river. Was she the one who followed the Morning Star with you, fought by your side, stood by you no matter what? No. It's me. It's always been me. She doesn't know you. She doesn't need you. She has-"**

**White, flowing fury flamed in Chunta's eyes as he lunged for me. Pushing me to the ground, he snarled in my face.**

"**How dare you. How dare you! Aponi loves me!" His true nature shines through, but I show no fear, for I feel none. When you are the Angel of Death, you learn that being afraid only makes matters worst. **

**I stare back at him defiantly with a cold smile. "You are so foolish. Aponi loves Hiamovi. She always has and always will. I know that. Everyone is aware of that. And somewhere inside you, you know it too. So stay with me. We can be together-two angels of darkness-one in the-"**

**I didn't have time to finish before he was slapping me across my face. Alright, that's it. I push him off me and leap to my feet. We circle each other, glaring daggers at the other. He leapt for me and I dodged at the last moment. He landed solidly on his feet and whipped around, where I was standing as hard as a stone. Gritting his teeth, Chunta tackled me to the ground, where I did not try to escape his grasp. I again pushed him off me, but not before he got a good hit in. We kept this up; circling, lunging, punching, kicking. Soon, we were stumbling in a circle, bloody and bruised. Again, Chunta made the first move and forced me on my front side, hands on my shoulders, trapping me.**

**He wouldn't kill me. He never does. He'll realize it soon… I know he will… I think he will. Doubts were beginning to enter my mind as I saw how angry he really was. He wouldn't. He couldn't. I was his soul mate.**

**I forced my elbow into his throat and he rolled off to the side, groaning and gasping. I had just gotten to my feet when he pulled me back down. Collapsing with a thud, I turned over on my back to see that Chunta has pulled a knife out of his belt. The stone blade was sharp- sharp enough to end my life. **

_**Stop. You're going too far. Stop.**_

**But he wasn't stopping. No, he was raising the knife, and as quick as lightning, the blade came down. Pain rushed through my body and I could feel the blood gushing from the wound in my stomach. It hurt (trust me when I say it **_**really **_**hurt) and I screamed. Chunta's face no longer displayed anger, but concern.**

**The room began to get blurry and I wondered how he could do this to me. This never happens. He wasn't supposed to go past his limits, which includes stabbing me in the stomach.**

"**Nukpana? Nukpana? Are you alright?" He asked frantically.**

_**You fool! Do I look alright?**_

**The knife had been pulled out, my blood all over the blade. It dropped from his hand and he panicked, trying to find something to cover the gash in my body. But it was useless, I knew it was. My life was ending. And he had caused it. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. He was supposed to realize at the last second that he loves me, that he doesn't want to be without me, that she isn't right for him. But no, it's too late now.**

**I closed my eyes and reopened them when I felt Chunta shaking my shoulders.**

"**Wait! Nukpana, don't leave me! Don't leave me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Tears were beginning to make their way down his face.**

**Besides the pain and agony, I was happy. I had gotten through to him, like I always do. But it's never taken my death to do it. At least I had gotten him to see that he **_**does **_**love me, more than her.**

"**Don't forget," I whispered, shutting my eyes. Reality faded into unconsciousness.**

_**You went too far this time, Abaddon. You went too far.**_

**And unconsciousness faded into death.**

I opened my eyes as I finished reliving that memory. That cycle had never been our best. Abaddon had killed me. He killed me. But he saved my blood and here I am. Still, just remembering how angry he was at me; it was wrong. He was wrong. I hadn't hurt their relationship; he had hurt ours. Was he trying to tell me not to fight for him? That I should just lay off and watch him be sucked in by Gabrielle? By Schuyler? I had already tried that, but it wasn't enough this time, I guess. It just wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

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**Hope you like it. I know it's probably not what you expect, but, no offense, I don't care and you'll live. Special thanks to Micula. You've been a really great supporter. Please review.**


	8. Chapter 7

_Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. Please review._

Chapter 7

Rain began to lightly fall and droplets clung to my face, clothes, and eyelashes. I seldom blinked, and for who knows how long, I lie there. Whether in rain or sunshine, I lie there. I barely moved. Maybe a twitch of my finger every now and then. I had never felt so weak. I just stared at the sky, thinking the same words, running though countless memories.

**I stumbled down an alley in London, Celia in my arms. They were on my tail. Silver Bloods. God, why was I so stupid? I never should have gone on an evening walk with only my little terrier. She was fierce, but could never protect me against 4 Silver Bloods. I ran through my options as I heard their footsteps behind me.**

**One: Surrender.**

_**Never! Even I wasn't seventeen, running for my life, ripped up and bloody, never in my right mind would I surrender.**_

**Two: Call for Peter.**

_**It's too late. He's still with his father.**_

**Three: Fight.**

_**No, already tried that. And look where it got me.**_

**Four: Outrun them.**

_**Not likely; I'm so tired from just escaping.**_

**Five: Hide.**

_**Hmm. Perhaps. They would probably find me, but maybe somewhere crowded.**_

**I saw a restaurant across the street and I guessed that it was packed due to the noise and abundant figures through the lighted windows. I ran towards it, but I could hear them getting closer. Suddenly, I tripped over an uneven stone tile. Celia flew out of my arms.**

_**Damn it!**_

**I knew it wasn't right for me to curse, but there are certain situations in a woman's life when it is necessary. This is one of those situations. I struggled to my elbows and I looked behind me. There they were. Strands of silver hair that had loosened from the pins clung to my face, and their predator eyes matched it in color. **

_**No fear. Show no fear. Feel no fear.**_

**I calmed my nerves and stood up, knowing that I could not run. Celia stood beside me, barking. Taking a tall stance, I clenched my hands in fists. I may be about to die. But if I died, **_**when**_** I died, it would be with honor.**

**I admit being in this dress didn't help my cause, but there wasn't much left of it anyways. Wind rushed through the holes and tears, but I didn't even shiver. I just stared at my opponents and narrowed my eyes. They took this as a 'it's time to fight' and lunged at me.**

**Punch, hit, kick, ouch, kick, punch, OW, collapse. I was lying on the cool tiles of a London alleyway and knew that this was it. Well, hopefully, someone would find me and get my blood. As one of the Silver Bloods lifted their claw-like hand to tear my throat out, a figure jumped in front of me. Fighting off two of them, I knew it was Peter. Struggling to my feet, I took on the other two.**

**It felt so right. This was us. We were a team. Always had each other's backs, always knew each other's next move. Now, with two of us, this was an easy win.**

**After their defeat, I fall on my knees. I was exhausted. Peter kneels beside me.**

"**Thea? Thea, are you alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.**

**I nod slightly and fall into his waiting arms. With a contented sigh, I close my eyes as he brushes my hair off my face. Suddenly, I felt water. Was it raining?**

**Opening my eyes, I see rain falling from the sky, but also Peter's tears. Reaching my hand up, I caress his face.**

"**I thought I'd lost you." He whispers before pulling me close. I wrap my arms around his neck.**

"**Don't worry. I'm fine. See? I'm fine." I assure him.**

**We just sat there. Hugging in the rain, our clothes soaking right through, but we sat there for a very long time. We were happy. No one could take that away.**

I hadn't even seen Gabrielle that cycle, so I suppose I had assumed she was not going to be in the same place as us that time. But nonetheless, a few months later _Charlotte_ appeared, supposedly in Ireland when her cycle parents "died in a fire" and now moving in with her aunt and uncle. And she captured Peter's attention immediately.

Memory after memory. A couple about us happy, but most were haunting pictures of him breaking my trust.

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Trinity's POV

With the rest of the Conclave, I sat as Kingsley Martin walked up to where my husband was standing. I heard him whispering.

"Jack and Madeleine are not here. I've looked all over New York. The guard outside the death room said that all he could remember was her knocking him out. I suspect that he convinced her to run away with him."

_Oh, no. Benjamin, how could you? Haven't you done enough? Why couldn't you have just left her alone? Now you're both missing._

Charles boomed, "What? Where are they?"

"I don't know." Kingsley said softly. "They've disappeared, but the guard said they took his car."

Taking out a map and a picture, probably of the car, Kingsley laid it flat on a table. Pointing to various spots, I heard him say.

"They may have taken this highway south. They could have stopped in North Carolina, South Carolina, or even Virginia. They also could have taken this west."

Charles stared at it intently as I bit my lip, closing my eyes.

_My, this is so wrong. First, Madeleine runs off to Ireland and Benjamin to who knows where. Then they both come back, and he is sentenced to death. THEN, they run away together, and for all we know, he may have deserted her again in the middle of nowhere!_

When I heard Charles voice, I opened my eyes. "Find them! Go on foot if you have to. Find my children."

Venators immediately set out and I wondered whether they would find them and where they went. South Carolina? Georgia? Virginia? Indiana? Illinois?

_God, of all people, why did Charles and I have to be their cycle parents? Someone else-anyone else- could have been better parents to them._

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(Mimi's POV)

As much as I tried to keep my eyes open and just stare at the patches of sky, I eventually faded out of consciousness. That was when the nightmares started.

**I was running, but this wasn't Mimi Force. This was Thea. I was trying to escape those Silver Bloods. After tripping over the stone, I heard footsteps. At the end of the alleyway, Peter and Charlotte ran. Smiles were on their faces, and they were no doubt sneaking off. **

"**Peter! Help me!" I cried out. It was as if everything was in slow motion. Each step they took was a dagger in my side and he finally turned his head. I smiled in hope, but he turned back to her and kept running. They disappeared. **

_**No. No, this can't be.**_

**And as the Silver Bloods crouched down to tear me apart, I let out a scream.**

Apparently, I wasn't only screaming in my dream. When I woke up, my mouth was wide open. I immediately snapped my jaws shut. God, that was so embarrassing, even though there was no one to hear it. I began panting like heck. I hate this. I hate feeling so weak. So powerless. So deserted and abandoned.

How did Schuyler do it? Oh, I know. She acted all innocent and hurt. Well, she's doesn't know what pain feels like. If she thinks that hurts, try being betrayed by your lover repeatedly.

Time passed as I faded in and out of consciousness, my strength fading by the second, nightmares haunting my every slumber. Each period of sleep was different; some even lasting days. I knew I couldn't last much longer like this, but this was what I wanted. To exhaust myself, refuse to eat or drink, and lie there until I die. It's just not coming fast enough. Why can't I just die right now and be put out of my misery? It'd be a whole lot easier that way.

I sniffed the air. What was that? It smelled so good… No! I can't eat anything! I heard voices and it's like their blood was singing to me, begging me to suck it in. But no, they're just innocent campers; not like some of my familiars who were just poor, vulnerable kids who needed to get a life. Okay, I admit it. I've messed up some lives for people who didn't deserve it. But I'm the Angel of Death. I'm supposed to be cruel, right?

The blood smelled so good, and it was as if it were teasing me. The voices were fading away from me, but the scent of their blood hung in the air and I was tempted to run after them.

God, why didn't I just stab myself with that dagger? It would have been so quick, so simple. But no, I left it in my bag, and my bag's in the car and that's way too far away.

Nighttime came and I gazed up through my opening at the stars. I remember wishing I could shine as bright as them and the moon. Would I ever? Would Jack love me if I did?

Suddenly, I saw silver eyes stare out of the shadows. Finally.

As they stepped closer and closer to me, I tried to open my mouth. It's crusted together from not talking and the lack of chap stick. Who knew chap stick was so important?

Finally getting my mouth open, my hoarse throat managed to whisper, "Kill me."

And apparently, it was at that moment that I lost consciousness for the thirtieth time that day and hopefully, I wouldn't wake up.

* * *

(Kingley's POV)

"I found her. Head back to the cars immediately." I spoke through my walkie-talkie to my team of Venators.

Mimi Force lie barely breathing in my arms as I run through the forest, back to where the other Venators and I parked our cars. Reaching the black SUVs, I saw my team already packed into the cars. I signaled to start moving except for one. As they speeded away, I laid the unconscious girl in the backseat, gently laying down her head. As her curls settled around her face, I began to observe her beauty. My, even after almost a month in that murky forest, one could still call her beautiful.

Snapping out of my observation, I climbed into the front seat, pondering the feelings that arose when I saw her. No, it wasn't right. She belonged to Abaddon. She loved him. She wouldn't be here if she didn't.

_Kill me_, she had said. How miserable she must be. I couldn't even imagine that kind of pain.

I, personally, think he doesn't deserve her. Look at what he's done to her, and she's the one going to the hospital. Well… I can't say I deserve her, but I'm sure as hell that Jack doesn't.

In a daze until arriving at the hospital, I rushed to carry her into the emergency room. This was the same hospital Allegra was sleeping in. The Venator that had driven me here was following, on the phone to tell Charles that we had found his daughter. I bust through the door, and the nurses looked up, startled.

"We need help. Immediately." I said.

* * *

After everyone was informed of Azrael's state and location, I went back to the hospital to check in on her. There were no visitors. Wasn't she the Queen Bee? Someone must have noticed she had suddenly went MIA in junior year, not to mention gossip gets around the Blue Bloods and Red Bloods really quickly. Someone had to have heard. But no, the only visitor was me.

Suddenly, Charles and Trinity sauntered into the room, both solemn.

They stared at the still figure in the bed. There was nothing in their eyes. Nothing. No concern. No love. No tears in Trinity's. No sadness in Charles'. They didn't love her. Of course they didn't. She was the Angel of Death. How could they? Besides, Charles was Michael Pure of Heart. How could someone so pure love someone so deathly.

It angered me, although I understood why. No one loved her. And the one person that actually could abandoned her. I've never understood how painful life must be for Azrael. I took out my cell phone.

"Hello, I'm calling for Jack Force," I said through gritted teeth.

Azrael didn't deserve this, and Abaddon could not abandon her without guilt and torture.

_Well, that concludes Chapter 7. I hoped you like it. Review buttion is down there. PLEASE press it._


	9. Chapter 8

**THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT SO YOU BETTER READ THIS: _PLEASE REREAD THE LETTER IN CHAPTER 6_. I MADE SOME CHANGES THAT ARE VERY EFFECTIVE TO THE REST OF THE STORY! PLEASE READ!**

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Chapter 8

"You should be ashamed." A voice accused me through the cell phone.

I already am, but nevertheless, I growled, "Who is this?"

"Kingsley Martin, Head Venator, the one who just brought Madeleine Force to the hospital. And you- you should've been the one to save her, not me. She was on the verge of death, and you couldn't care less." The voice was furious, but I didn't even notice.

_Azrael- hospital? Verge of death?_

"She's in the hospital?" I asked softly.

The voice changed into a tone of disgust, "You're worse than I thought. Maybe you should have just left her alone in the first place. If she had someone else that could actually love her-"

My anger towards myself went towards Kingsley. I snarled into the receiver, "As in _you_? Ha! She wouldn't choose you even if she didn't have me!"

There was a slight pause until Kingley spat, "She doesn't have you! You're selfish to think that you are still her lover when you have abandoned her! But she is selfless enough to take on the pain that should have been inflicted on you- because you broke the bond! It is all your fault. Don't try to blame it on me. Or on her. She's dying, Force. Yet, you have to push everyone down to elevate yourself. It's _sick_. Good luck with the half-blood, Force. You deserve each other."

With that, Kingsley hung up. I trembled. How dare he speak to me like that. How _dare _he.

"Jack, honey, what's wrong?" Schuyler walked up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. Her blue-black hair was pulled up into a high bun so as not to get it wet in the hot tub. Her hands were pink from the heat and they rubbed my tense, bare shoulders.

I wasn't sure what to say. That I just got off the phone with a Venator that informed me that Mimi was in the hospital, dying, and that I was the one that did that to her? That while we were lounging in a hot tub at this fancy hotel, my twin sister was lying on a bed, her soul haunted by the fact I was gone? That in the process of running away to the Caribbean, I had hurt someone that I cared about?

_No, not cared. __**Care**__. _

I couldn't stop the present tense of that word from popping into my head. It was as if a voice forced it in. This "voice" continued.

_And is it only caring? Or is it perhaps… loving?_

No, it couldn't be. I was here with Schuyler now. We were happy. Right where we were. Mimi had only gotten in the way. That was no longer a problem. I love Schuyler. I love Schuyler. I do. The voice pressed further.

_Do you? Or do you love… her light?_

Shut up! Schuyler is my soul mate. This is where I belong.

_Oh, really? Now where have I heard that before?_

No, I didn't belong with Mimi. But I could hear my thoughts echoing from that night in the hotel. It was haunting. Still, Schuyler deserved the truth. Honesty is something I've been trying to work on; I've lied to Mimi so many times. I won't lie to Schuyler.

"It's Mimi. She's… she's in the hospital. And it's my fault." Guilt seeped into my voice, and I put my head in my hands.

The rubbing on my shoulders stopped and Schuyler said, "Bu-But that's impossible. You were here."

For once, Skye's lack of education about the Blue Blood world was annoying me. "You don't understand," I said. "This is what happens when you break the bond. It's… what happened to your mom. But Mimi's in an even worse condition. She's dying, Schuyler, and it's because of what _I_ did."

"You killed Mimi?" Her voice sounded like a child's. The voice butted in again.

_That's because she is a child. This is her first lifetime, and she knows nothing. __**Her**__, on the other hand, she's sixteen and already a woman. When will you become a man?_

I am a man! I looked back to Schuyler. Her eyes were wide, and she was backing away.

I said, "I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

Schuyler, defending Mimi instead of comforting me, cried, "But you knew! You knew that this would happen! Now she's dying and you sound like you don't even care. Why don't you?"

She had no right to judge me… I think. I snapped back at her, "Why don't you care about Oliver? He cares about you just as much as Mimi cares about me. But you didn't consider his feelings, did you?"

She stepped back as if I had slapped her in the face. I admit, that was really low, but she needs to realize that I'm not the only one to blame. Tears began to fall down her cheeks, and she fell to her knees. I hurried to ask if she was okay, but she began sobbing barely comprehensible words, "Ollie… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

Crouching beside her, I whispered, "It's my fault, too."

She said, "I knew too, you know. I knew that he loved me. And that he would do anything for me. Jack? I… I think I love him too. I know that I am a _bitch_," she spat the word, "for torturing him like this, but I can't deny what we have-"

"Me neither." I cut in.

She looked up at me. "_But_ I can't let him go without a goodbye. I don't want things to end like this, and you shouldn't either. I know that Mimi is going to die, but don't you think, that in her last moments, she'd want to see your face?"

I sighed and nodded.

_We are going back to America._

(Kingley's POV)

"Watch over her, Kingsley. Call me if there is any change." Charles instructed me firmly. I nodded, although I practically knew for a fact that there wouldn't be. The doctor said she was fading, slowly but surely. Charles and Trinity left.

I was surprised when the next visitor stepped into the room. Oliver Hazard-Perry. Conduit, I think. He wasn't Mimi's though, right? He walked up to me, and said, "How is she?"

I shook my head. "Not good. The doctor says there's barely any chance she'll survive another week. Are you her Conduit?"

"No, I'm Schuyler Van Alen's. Mimi and I… we, uh, went on a little escapade, not like that, but, you know, we were… acquaintances." He finished shyly.

I fired questions at him, "Do you know where Jack and Schuyler are? Where did you go with Mimi? Why?"

He put up his hands. "Woah, dude, one at a time. No, I don't know where they are. I went with Mimi to Ireland because… well it's complicated."

Sorrow filled Oliver's eyes, and I didn't push it. He looked to Mimi.

"She saved my life, you know," he whispered, taking her hand. Fixing his gaze on her closed eyes, his lips began to move. I couldn't make out the words, but I was astonished when her eyelids began to flutter.

"What did you do?" I asked as her eyes opened. Her green orbs flitted around the room. They were like emeralds, but they looked so dull. Out of life.

"I spend a lot of time in the Repository," Oliver answered.

Mimi stared at him. "I know you," she stated simply, blinking once.

"Yes, you do," he replied gently, squeezing her hand. "Do you remember my name?"

She looked concentrated, like she was trying to remember. She shook her head and asked, "Are you a friend?"

Nodding, Oliver smiled at her. "Yes, I am your friend."

Next, she looked to me. "Do I know you?"

"Yes." I said, leaving out the part that we weren't exactly in a good relationship as friends.

She looked so confused as she looked from one to the other. "Who are you?"

I answered for both of us, "I am Kingsley and this is Oliver. We are your friends, and we wish to help you. But the more important question: Who are you? Try to remember."

Staring at the ceiling, she said, "It's so hard; I'm trying, but I just can't…"

"Please," Oliver said. "Here, we'll help you. Do you know where you are?"

She answered, "I…I think I'm in New York. It's in America."

"Good. Do you remember your name?"

She looked intently at the white ceiling. "Is my name Mimi? I remember things about her. Her father is an important man. Her mother isn't present much. She has a brother too. He's her twin and he means a lot to her. Her best friend has curly red hair. And her name… what's her name? Bliss, yes, her name is Bliss. And her brother's name is Jack. Is that it, Oliver? Am I Mimi?"

We smiled, proud of her for remembering, and he nodded. Continuing, he asked, "What else do you remember about Mimi?"

I knew that he wanted to see if she remembered more than the human part of her life, and we weren't disappointed.

She replied, "I'm not a normal girl. And my real name isn't Mimi. It's Azrael, and that's the Angel of Death. _I'm_ the Angel of Death. I followed the Morning Star, but then I chose to return to the side of Light. With… wait, I know his name… with Abaddon. He's the Angel of Destruction. And my father's name is Charles, and he's the Regis of our coven. We're Blue Bloods, and he is our leader. But his real name is Michael, Pure of Heart. And my mother is Trinity, who is the Angel of Silence. I remember! And Abaddon… he's… well, there is something special about him. Wait, he's my brother, Jack. Jack Force is Abaddon. There's something else about him; I know there is. But it makes me sad. Why does it make me sad, Kingsley?"

_Here it comes_, I thought as I replied slowly, "Abaddon has been unfaithful to you for many generations. He has repeatedly had affairs with Gabrielle throughout the majority of your cycles. He is now with her daughter, Schuyler Van Alen."

Just then, something flashed in her eyes. She glared at the ceiling, and suddenly began to scream. Her hands went to her head, and she shrieked, "Make it go away! Please! I don't want to remember! I don't want to live! Take it away!"

The nurses flocked into the room, and one quickly went to the cabinet for medication. The other two tried to calm her down, but she began to thrash wildly in the bed to the point where they had to hold down her arms so the nurse could inject the shot. She quickly went limp and her eyes, which had turned to a coal black, closed.

Oliver and I had backed away against the wall. That's when the next visitor strode in. Bliss. Her face paled seeing the nurses crowded around the hospital bed, and she cried, "What happened to her?"

I spoke firmly, although I was slightly scared of Mimi's sudden breakdown, "Abaddon has broken the bond, and her reaction was… almost killing herself."

Bliss had a delicate hand across her lips, whispering, "Oh my God. Oh my God. And Abaddon is Jack, right? And he… and-and Schuyler… but she wouldn't. She would never try to do that to someone. At least not on purpose."

I replied coldly, "No, she didn't do it on purpose, but Jack did. Well, he knew what would happen."

Bliss had cautiously stepped up to the bed after the nurses left, and her head jerked up at this. "What-what will happen?"

"At this point… she's probably not going to survive the week."

"_What?_" Jack and Schuyler burst into the room. Okay, this is getting really crowded. He rushed to the bed, but Oliver and I quickly blocked his path.

He scowled at us, "Get out of my way."

I spat back, "You have no right to see her."

"_Move._" The Angel of Destruction showed in his eyes, which were changing from that emerald green to a terrifying black… just like his sister. We stood our ground though, about to face his horrible nature before letting him get to her.

Oliver spoke this time. "We'd rather not. Besides, why did you come back anyway?"

"_Let me see her_," Jack growled at us, his face inching closer to ours.

"You've done enough, Jack!" Bliss cried from her spot in the corner where Schuyler was sobbing into her shoulder. Her outburst caused a jerk from the body on the bed. Jack tried to go through us, but I challenged him. Oliver stepped away, and I leaned closer, my eyes flaring, to snarl, "Take one step towards that bed, and I will rip out your pretty little throat."

He gave up, and walked to Schuyler, who he put his arms around. Bliss stared at him in disgust as Sky turned away from her, as did I and Oliver. It was gross. He tells us that he wants to see his sister, and then goes straight back to her when we refuse!

_God, please give this boy some help. He doesn't deserve it, but please give him a little guidance. For her sake._

"What the hell!" Bliss shouts. Her red hair reminds me of flames that frame her face. She looks furious as Jack. I saw another jerk from the bed out of the corner of my eye.

"None of your damn business!" Jack yells back. Schuyler whispered for him to stop, and there was fear in her voice. This must be the first time she's seen the real him. She slowly backed away from him, but he didn't notice. He was too busy glaring daggers at Bliss.

"Yeah, well you are the sickest bastard I have _ever_ met!" She screamed, and a foot stamped the floor. That did it.

Mimi's eyes opened, and she sat up in bed. She looked at Jack. There was obviously a conversation going in their heads. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Get out," she said through clenched teeth. Jack stood his ground, already taking a step towards the bed.

"I said _get out_!" Her voice echoed in the room, and I didn't have to look closely to know that her eyes were ebony. And if one asked me what surprised me the most? Schuyler defended him. It was just so _wrong_. My, I knew she wasn't educated in Blue Blood history, but this is getting plain _stupid_. Good Lord, I never knew she was _this_ out of the loop.

She stepped in front of him. "Don't ever talk to him like that again," she threatened. "Don't you daretalk to him like that _ever_ again!"

Mimi was obviously surprised that Schuyler had had the guts, but she scowled. "What did you say?"

Schuyler shouted, "You heard me: don't _ever_ talk to him like that again! You know what, Mimi? You're not as tough as you think you are. Just because you _think_ you rule the world, that doesn't mean you do! And Jack isn't your pawn! He can do as he wishes, and you have no say in his actions. If he wants to be with me, then you have no right to stop him! I love him, and he loves me! You have nothing to do with that! And just because everyone at school adores you and respects you, that doesn't mean that you're a woman. You're just a _scared. Little. Girl!_"

She was heaving at the end, fury burning in her eyes. I looked at Jack; his head was down, his bangs covering his eyes. Next was Oliver and Bliss; it would be an understatement to say they were surprised. Finally, my gaze changed to Mimi, and I had never seen it before, but she was crying. Tears rolled down, and she couldn't even glare at Schuyler. Slowly, she got out of the bed, her eyes on the floor, and walked lightly to Jack and Schuyler. Her chest going up and down dramatically, her hand reached up, and she yanked on the silver necklace I hadn't seen before. The chain broke instantly, and it fell from her neck.

"I don't want it anymore," she whispered. Mimi simply dropped it to the floor, and walked out the room. With a small clink, the necklace fell on the floor as her golden curls disappeared behind the wall. Schuyler picked it up, running her thumb over the emerald embedded into the square locket. She clicked it open, but I couldn't see what was inside.

Her hand raised to her lips, and she began to cry. Jack didn't comfort her, Bliss didn't comfort her, but Oliver did. Staring at them, I began to wonder if that's what it was supposed to be about. Love - forgiveness. Trust - honesty. Bonds - passion. That's what they had. Did she have it with Jack?

_Wait. How did I get sucked into this? _

I quickly took out my cell and dialed Charles' number.

"Hello?"

"Azrael is awake."

(Mimi's POV)

_Maybe she's right. I'm not on top. In fact, I couldn't be lower right now. And I guess I'm not a woman, but she's… No, I can't even insult her. This is so pathetic. And… I guess I am a scared little girl. I would have fought back if I wasn't._

I approached the counter and looked at the clerk. "Where are my clothes?"

Of course, I couldn't go anywhere in my hospital gown, and she said, "And you are… Madeleine Force?"

I sighed in frustration. "_Yes_. Now, may I please have my clothes? I am ready to leave."

"I'm sorry, Miss Force. You are not permitted to leave yet," she looked at a file. "Actually, isn't your decease date in… less than a week?"

_Ugh! You leave me no choice._

Cruel as it may seem, I just had to use the glom on her. Speaking slowly, locking my gaze with hers, I compelled her with my mind, _I am leaving this hospital. You were not responsible for it and did not notice me when I walked out. You will tell me where my clothes are._

In a daze, she replied, "They are in the box labeled 213 in the room down the hall to the left.

_Thank you. Remember, I was not here and you did not see me._

She nodded, and I walked down the hall to the room on the left. I glared at anybody who looked at me strangely, and they continued on their way. The room was empty, and I found the box labeled with the number of my hospital room. I took out the new phone I had bought, my clothes, and my boots. I quickly changed, stuck my phone in my pocket, and returned to the lobby.

I reached in my pocket and slapped the note I had written on the counter. I again used the glom on the clerk, _You will leave this note for my brother, Jack Force. When he comes out, give this to him. He looks very much like me._

I caught a taxi, and went the one place I could think of. "To the Hazard-Perry residence, please."

It drove away from the hospital, and I watched as Jack came out the door, the note in his hand. I gave him a cold glare before looking away, and the taxi sped off into the traffic.

As I arrived at Oliver's house, I hoped that Jack hadn't followed me. But no, I was alone. With nothing but a dying cell phone, an unbearable pain, and a broken heart. It was telling me to forgive him like I always had so he could come back to me. But I couldn't; I just couldn't. There was something different about this cycle, and as long as I am alive, I will never forgive him. He's in love with her, and as much as I hate to admit it, Schuyler has earned my respect.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait- MAJOR writer's block. Anyways, that's the next chapter. Thanks for reading. By the way, I'm thinking about a sequel, but I'm not too sure; tell me what you think!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Taken a while, yes, but here is chapter 9. Hope you enjoy it.**

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Chapter 9

When Oliver got home an hour later, he literally jumped two feet in the air when he saw me lounging on his couch, stuffing low-fat cheese puffs in to my mouth as I stared at the screen playing _Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day_.

"Good Lord, you scared me."

I popped in another cheese puff, and said nonchalantly, "Yeah, I know."

"Mimi," Oliver began serenely, "what the hell are doing?"

I looked up at him. "It depends on how you look at it. To me, it seems as though I am on Oliver Hazard-Perry's couch eating cheese puffs. How does it look to you?"

He sighed in frustration. "I mean what the hell are you doing _here_, in my house, when you could be with the person you love? He came back, Mimi. That has to mean something. Why would he come back if he didn't care?"

My heart aches as I remember my conversation with Jack in the hospital.

_**Mimi… I'm so glad you're- **_**Jack began to say before I cut him off.**

_**Don't you dare say okay. What are you doing here? **_**I was trying not to sound hopeful -was it because of me?**

**Jack answered quickly- too quickly, **_**Schuyler wanted to say goodbye to Oliver.**_

_**You're lying.**_

**His voice sounded annoyed in my mind as he said, **_**No, I'm not. I came back for her, and only her.**_

**Ow. But he never does anything for me, does he? All his kindness, generosity, care; he gives it all to Schuyler and Gabrielle. For me, what does he have? Hate, anger, and violence. What has he done to make me happy- like she is? Why can't I be as happy with him as she is- soft kisses in the moonlight, dancing under the stars? Something totally cheesy and yet romantic. It's always the little things like eating cake in the middle of the night together that make the difference. Instead, I'm over there being slammed into the wall, literally. **

"**Get out," I said through clenched teeth. **

I reply sullenly, "Because of her. He didn't want to come back, but she insisted on saying goodbye to you- nothing to do with me."

Oliver's lip slightly parted in surprise, and- as if on cue- the door bell rang. The door didn't have to be opened for me to know that Schuyler Van Alen stood on the porch. He left to answer, and I returned my eyes to the screen, watching as Miss Pettigrew is met at the train station by her admirer. Then he takes her away from her poor conditions, so they could be happy together unlike how he was with the snotty, selfish woman he had been involved with before.

I suppose one could say that we each play a role. I was the snotty, rich, selfish woman that had manipulated him and had been secretly been having an affair behind his back. In other words, the bad guy. Schuyler would be Miss Pettigrew, of course. The good guy, the one who had never been as fortunate and had somehow found love in a wealthy gentleman. And, as if you hadn't figured this out already, the admirer is Jack. Still, something about it didn't click. I hadn't had the affair behind Jack's back; he had had it behind mine. And Schuyler actually fit the part pretty well, but it never said in the movie how she had hurt somebody in the process of falling for him. And Jack wasn't a calm, nice gentleman. Well, he could be, but definitely not all the time. I'm a direct witness to that. But… for them he is. He is caring and loving and sweet for them. He's like a sugar cube they can suck on. One day, though, it will run out of sweetness. For now, it dissolves on their tongues, and they bask in the pleasure of it. But me? I'm like sticking an entire lemon in your mouth.

Oliver goes to answer the door, and I sit on the couch in wait. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. After all, if one has enhanced senses, why not use them? My ears picked up on Schuyler's soft voice, opposite of what is was in the hospital.

"Hi, Ollie."

"Hey," his voice was distant.

"Th-thanks for what you did in the hospital."

"No problem."

After a few moments, Schuyler said quickly, "Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been toying with your head. I'm sorry that I chose Jack over you when you've been nothing but good to me. And I'm sorry that I left without a goodbye. You deserve so much better than me, Oliver, and you won't ever know how much I wish that I could be what you deserve."

He was silent, obviously contemplating her words. Slowly, he said, "I'm not in the mood for modest speeches. Just, will you take my advice now, as a friend?"

"Of course."

"You need to tell Mimi you're sorry. I know that probably the last thing you want to do, and that she's not exactly worthy of your apology. Still… I've learned a lot about her lately, and she has a lot more to her than what most would think. And what you said in the hospital…"

"I feel so terrible about it, Ollie. I never thought that she would break so easily. She's so… strong."

Oliver replied, "You're right; she is. Still, she's very fragile right now. But why would you say those things?"

"I guess I was sick of her pushing others down. It was harsh though, and I am sorry, but I doubt she'll want to talk to me."

_You're right. I don't._

I knew that Oliver would return soon with Schuyler by his side, and I stood, opening the window. Before hopping out, I wondered where I was going to go. It's not like I truly have a home, but I guess I'll try there.

Twenty minutes later, my fingers were pressing over the keys of my keyboard. Headphones covered my ears as I listen to the chords being played. As I repeat different chords, I begin to make up lyrics in my mind.

_You fooled with my feelings_

_You messed with my head_

_You pushed me on the ground_

_And tried to help me up instead_

_You twist around everything_

_All your lines are blurry_

_I can never be sure of you_

_When all you say is lies_

_I believed that we could be together_

_I believed that this was our forever_

_I trusted in you_

_Like I wish you trusted in me_

_I was honest with you_

_Like you couldn't be honest with me_

_There was so-_

Suddenly, it was like I couldn't breathe. As if there was no air. But the strange thing was I could feel the oxygen in my lungs. I wasn't choking. This was all mental. Yet, the pain was so real. I cringed as agony fills every part of my body.

Then, it leaves as quickly as it had come. I lie panting, now noticing that I was on the floor, wondering why that had just happened.

_The bond._

Picking up the headphones that had fallen from my ears, I turned off my keyboard and wandered into my room. My, what a long time it has been since I've stepped in here. I don't know how long I was out, but it seems like forever. I looked at the white sheets on the bed, the black and white pictures on my wall, the elegant mirror, and finally the fancy bulletin board.

There was Bliss and I in one photo. There was my family. There was one that Oliver and I took before the masquerade started, and we were both staring solemnly at the camera, masks covering our faces. Then, there was multiple pictures of Jack and I. Both of us were gleaming like bright stars. If only we could still shine. Maybe he can, but he poured water on my fire, and it burned out.

Taking small, slow steps toward the board, I feel tears begin to fill my eyes_, _but I make no move to stop them. Why even try if I've cried so much already? I've lost everything. I've lost my dignity, my will to live, and my love- Abaddon. I've lost him forever this time. And I didn't know how to survive an eternity without my partner. I guess I just enjoy the first 15 to 16 years of my life as a regular teenager, receive back my memories, and fall asleep until it replays itself. It's a sad life to watch, but it's still a life, one the Almighty has planned.

But, then again, if I snatch life away from others, why do I of all people deserve to have a long one? The Angel of Death isn't associated with Life, and it never will be. She stands alone. Never giving, never really receiving. Just always taking. Taking, taking, taking. Not a part of the whole. Not a part of the rest. Not a part of anything. Always separate. Always different. Always alone.

* * *

(Oliver's POV)

"I'm begging you… forgive me." Schuyler stared up at me with large, pleading eyes. Once, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. Once, my love would have overpowered my senses. I still love her, that much is obvious, but was I willing to dump it off like it was nothing? The pain I had felt the day I found out. The betrayal I felt when she ran away with him. The hurt I had felt when she chose him, that two-timing jerk, over me, her best friend. Was I just supposed to forget it and let her hurt me one more time when she runs back to him after receiving my forgiveness?

Who has always been there for her? Was it Jack? I don't think so. Who comforted her in the hospital? Jack? Guess again. Who gave up his blood so she could be healthy? The son of Charles Force? Wrong. It was me. It was always me, and yet she chose him.

What is it about him that makes him so damn irresistible? His good looks? His charm? His seductiveness? I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is that he has found himself a new toy, and it happens to be my best friend. And it felt so wrong.

Why couldn't she see that I'm the one who understands her? I've been here all along so why can't she see that she belongs with me? We were two halves of the same whole, two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. I am right for her, and yet she hadn't seen it.

I didn't know if I could forgive her for all that. For leaving me. For seeing right through me like I'm invisible. For betraying my trust.

I heard a boy say to a girl: love fades. Mine has. It was so cruel. She had burst into tears and ran out the restaurant. I suppose it was rude to eavesdrop, but when I saw her a few weeks later, she was with another boy. It was at the same restaurant, and I was snooping again when I heard her tell him about her ex-boyfriend and what he said. Her new lover replied: he's right. But what he doesn't know is that love grows. And mine has.

Was Schuyler's love for me finally growing…? Is my love for her fading since I'm not sure if I can forgive her?

I searched through my mind for the answers. As for the first question, I don't know. But the second- no. It isn't fading. I sort of want it to, though.

To show that I wasn't as flexible as I once was, I said, "Why should I?"

She looked up at me with wide eyes, and she replied, "I don't have a reason. I don't deserve your forgiveness, Oliver, but I need it. I don't want things to end the way they did. I miss you, Ollie. I miss our movie nights and science classes and laughing in the rain. I want it all, but you know that I can't resist…"

_That's what you have to say to me? You can't resist him? And yet you ask for my forgiveness when I bet all you're thinking about is him._

I said harshly, "I know, trust me, I know. But if he is that damn irresistible, then why do you ask me to forgive you? Why? Are you trying to hurt me even more? Well, I've had enough. So… just leave me alone, okay?"

I turned away from her, and I heard her footsteps direct away from me, towards the door. A choking sensation fills my lungs, and I feel like a bucket of crap. I didn't know if that was the right thing to say, but I'm sick of _him_. Jack this, and Jack that. What about me? What about us, all that we used to have? A single smile and a soft kiss from Jack Force, and it's down the drain.

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**What do you think? Please tell me about the sequel thing too.**


	11. Chapter 10

**I know this is a short chapter, but I need to save the rest for the grand finale. Sorry about that. Well, hope you like the chapter anyways.**

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Chapter 10

(Schuyler's POV)

I walked out the door of the Hazard-Perry residence, and as soon as I closed the door, I let the tears come out. For a minute, I just stood there sobbing because…

Oliver couldn't forgive me. Mimi wouldn't forgive me. I have just messed up everything, haven't I? I don't deserve Jack. I definitely don't deserve Oliver. I don't even deserve Mimi's forgiveness. I don't deserve anything. God, I'm such a horrible person.

As I gloomily opened the door of the cab, I looked back at Oliver's home that had become like a second home to me. I would miss this place. Climbing into the yellow taxi, wishing I were back in the house, I looked out the window as I began to tell the driver the address. Suddenly, Oliver walked out of the house, in sweats and a T-shirt, I-pod in hand. After a single cold glance at me, he put in his earphones and jogged away from me. The cab began to drive in the opposite direction, and I looked behind me, just one more time, at my best friend. Or ex- best- friend. I suppose that after what I did we aren't friends anymore.

I can't believe I was losing him- for good. It was like ripping a piece out of my heart. I know now why I came back to America. Yes, I wanted to say goodbye, but it was so much more. I wanted him to forgive me so… that he could love me. So it wouldn't be so wrong if… God, I'm in love with Oliver Hazard-Perry. I mean, I already knew I loved him, but I can't be in love with him, can I?

…

Okay, I'm in love with him. What now? It can't change anything. I'm with Jack now. And I can't become like one of those people who have multiple mates. It's wrong to use someone like that. Still, Oliver was… everything. I mean, there were multiple Jacks, multiple Mimis, but there's only one Oliver. And there will be only one Oliver… and I can't let him get away.

"Stop the cab!" I shouted at the driver. I heard the brakes squeak in a deafening sound, but I didn't care. I jumped out the taxi and ran, as fast as I could, in Oliver's direction. I see his jogging form ahead of me and push myself faster.

"Oliver!" I repeated his name over and over in a yell, but he kept going, obviously not hearing me. Finally, I caught up to him, and stepped in front, blocking his path. Abruptly coming to a stop, he pulled out his earphones. He scowled. "What do you want? Didn't you hear me? Just leave me alone."

I cried, "Will you just listen to me? I'm sorry that I took your love for granted. I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust and left without a goodbye. I'm sorry I even asked for your forgiveness, but I love you, Oliver. I love you."

"Yeah. You've always loved me- as a friend," he cut in sharply.

"But, it's more than that. I'm in love with you, Ollie, and that's why I couldn't say goodbye. That's why I came back. That's why I needed your forgiveness so it wouldn't be so wrong…" I trailed off.

Oliver was staring at me with such raw pain and intensity that I wanted to look away. I can't believe I'd done this; I should have just stayed in the cab. But then he was walking towards me, and as he raised his fingers to my face, he leaned in closer.

His hand gently caressing my cheek, his forehead grazing my own, he whispered, "I don't see how this could be any more right."

Then, before I could stop myself, I pushed my head forward, my lips pressing against his. I could feel the love radiating off him, and I felt it too. What we had, it couldn't be replaced with five-star hotels, expensive dinners, and amazing hot tubs. Now, I couldn't be happier watching comedies and horror films, as long as Oliver was by my side. We would be doing what we loved, with the person we loved. And that was worth more than anything Jack's money had to offer me.

Jack Force… I had almost forgotten about him. What would I say to him? What could I say to him? As I was reminded of Oliver's hands pulling me closer by my waist, I drowned out any thought of the man I had run away with. This was the present. This was now. I couldn't think about the future; I just hoped Oliver was a part of it.

Because the truth about forever is: You can never know. You can never know what will happen next, who will be involved. All you can hope for is that you make it out alive, with the person you care about. And now, in the present, that person was Oliver. And I wanted it to be Oliver in my forever.

My next cycle, Oliver wouldn't be there, and I would never forget him. But for now, I would just live in the moment with him in my little forever.

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(Jack's POV)

I watch from behind the corner of the building as Schuyler and Oliver embrace each other, hold each other, kiss each other. I remember when that had been us, and I had told her my "great revelation".

"**It wasn't a choice between you and Mimi. It was a battle between who I'm supposed to be and who I want to be. I don't want to be in the dark anymore, Sky. There's so much I love about being with you, so much I love about you. I couldn't throw that away. I have lived for so many years with my life planned out for me- each single step. I don't want that anymore. And I have you to help me change my fate. I have been through so many cycles, and they were all the same, but now, I can feel myself changing. Because I fell in love with you." **

It should have been me. I wanted her. The desire was so strong, and I wanted her to realize what she was doing. Still, the way her eyes shine when she looks at him; she didn't have it with me. There was something inside him that draws her in. He is tailor made for her, and I couldn't argue with that.

From simply looking at him, I knew that Oliver loves her with all his heart, and I knew that he would take care of her. Some part of me, though, wishes that I could say the same. A part of my heart always has, and always will, belong to Azrael. She was so faithful when I was faithless, she was so strong when I had become weak, she was so passionate when I felt my fire burning out. And I had crushed her heart to pieces. I would never see her rare smile ever again. I would never caress her soft cheek when she gave me that honor. I would never practice my fighting with her from dusk till dawn. I would never feel her warm breath in my ear when she whispered, "Got you again." after beating me every single time…

There were so many things I gave up when I ran away with Schuyler, things I'd never thought about till now. And I had lost those things forever because she could never forgive me. Never. I had abandoned her, and she turned her back on me with every right. God, I'm so stupid.

I think this is what you call another "great revelation". Schuyler wasn't the one, just like Gabrielle hadn't been the one. What we had- it wasn't love. It was desire. Her desire for the rush, unnatural pleasure, abduction. My desire for the light, sweetness, gentleness that I didn't truly possess. Our relationship had sugar, a little spice, and fairy tale moments. But it was missing a key ingredient that was put in every cake of love: passion. It was missing. It was all soft and gentle for me, but intense for her. We both had different points of views, but there was no passion. No raw pain, love, or hate. It was all things I had with Azrael, but failed to grasp with Schuyler. Yep, this was definately a great revelation.

Putting my back on the wall of the brick house, I slid down to the ground. With my hand over my face, I feel tears begin to fill my eyes. I close them tight.

_Azrael, my beautiful Azrael, I'm so sorry. I wish it were still you and me against the world._

I had broken her heart, but I never expected to break my own as well. I took the Mimi's silver locket out of my pocket. After Schuyler had seen it, she gave it to me, saying that Mimi would want me to have it. Clicking it open, I stared solemnly at the tiny painting inside. I remember giving it to her our last cycle. On one side was Thea and Peter. He was holding her close, and she was staring up at him with her deep green eyes. It was before Charlotte, a few nights after her Silver Blood attack. And on the other side of the locket: an engraved inscription. It was only three words, but they brought back the memory of having it done especially for her. Indented into the silver, in elegant calligraphy, was: _Forever and Always_.

I knew what it was supposed to mean.

Pulling out Mimi's note out of my pocket, I read it over, picking out certain phrases:

'It's you and me against the world. That's what you said.'

'If you can't be honest with me, then you're right. It's the end.'

'I can never love another.'

'I know you better than you know yourself.'

'There's a whole lot of things that I can forgive, but a liar isn't one of them.'

'Death. It's what I am, and it's all I'll ever be.'

_You're so much more, Mimi. So much more._

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**I think this is the part where you go: OMG the happy ending is finally here! I can't guarentee that, so let me know what you think should happen. Just tell me what you think in a review, but I will warn you now: i might not listen. So... go ahead, click it. Thanks for reading.**


	12. Chapter 11

**So this chapter is a bit longer. I didn't really wait for anyone to tell me their ideas for this chapter, but I'm not really a patient person if you know what I mean. So... ready or not, here it comes!**

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Chapter 11

(Jack's POV)

I suddenly have a flashback of ancient Greece.

**My angel sword plunges into the heart of the last remaining Silver Blood. This was their best plan yet: distract the Regis and most of the clan to multiple mysterious killings in Athens. The remaining of the Blue Bloods would be weaker without their Regis and best fighters. Then, they would attack and wipe out a portion of the clan. Of course, they hadn't thought that the Regis would leave Abaddon and Azrael behind to defend the clan. They are so impulsive. They actually came up with a decent plan, but were too quick to act without thinking of the holes.**

**As the Silver Blood falls to the ground, I push a strand of hair out of my face. Looking back at Azrael, I see her washing her face in the river. Kneeling beside her, I notice a long gash left on the right side of her face, from her hairline to her chin. I knew it would leave a scar, but she would be all the more beautiful.**

**Putting my fingers under her chin, I lifted her eyes to mine. She turns her face away.**

"**Don't look at me," she whispers. "I'm hideous."**

**I tore the bottom of my tunic, and, soaking the cloth in the cool water of the river, I pressed it to her wound. Taking the left side of her face in my hand, I said, "No, you're not. You're beautiful. Besides, at least you'll have a battle scar."**

**She laughed softly and put her hand over mine. **

"**I can't believe Penelope had become a Silver Blood," she said. "She must not have been paying close attention when we were told to stay."**

**Penelope, a close friend, or used to be, had betrayed us and became a Silver Blood. She was an insider and would give the rest of the small group of Silver Bloods information about the attack. She wasn't very good at it though. **

**I chuckled, and removed the blood-soaked cloth. The gash didn't look quite as bad, and I pulled her to her feet. Footsteps pounded the earth, and Michael and Gabrielle came riding up on horses. They hopped down quickly.**

"**What happened?" Michael demanded. **

**I looked at Azrael knowingly and told him the previous events and about the Silver Bloods' plan. They listened, and Gabrielle finally burst out, "But how did you do it? There had to be at least a dozen Silver Bloods! You couldn't have been alone."**

**Azrael sent to me, **_**We are always alone. But alone, together, we are strong.**_

**I agreed with her and looked to Gabrielle's stunned face. "We stayed strong," was all I said.**

**I took Azrael's petite form in my arms, and I could feel our two leaders smiling at us. Closing my eyes, I put my face in her hair. To the outside world, we were Chryssipus and Atlannia, great warriors of Sparta, although she was a woman. But, in the Blue Blood world, we were Abaddon and Azrael, former followers of the Morning Star, present servants of the Almighty, enemies of the fallen angels whose blood is silver, a pair of the greatest fighters of all Blue Bloods, and two of the most powerful angels. **

**Through the bond, I said, **_**It doesn't matter how many Silver Bloods there are. I'll fight to the end, and it will always be with you. It's you and me against the world, Azrael. You and me forever.**_

It was the first time I had said our familiar phrase to her, and it had held so much promise and worth in it. Now, it was no more. Our phrase was meaningless. Because of what I did.

I refolded the note and placed it back in my pocket. Standing up, I saw that Oliver and Schuyler were sitting on a bench, talking. I smiled softly before turning away and taking off down the street. I couldn't let Azrael die, not without a goodbye at least. I would try to gain her trust and forgiveness. I would wait for her. Our next cycle together, if she couldn't forgive me now, I would wait for her.

I remember when I had gone four cycles without Azrael. Every time, I had an affair with Gabrielle. I had thought, _Well, she's not here so it's not wrong. _It was. It was so unbelievably wrong to think that I could commit adultery just because she wasn't present. It made no difference. Azrael was my soul mate, whether she was there to remind me of it or not. I felt as terrible as if she were in front of me, asking me why I had betrayed her. The first time didn't teach me a lesson, neither did the second or third. Sometimes, I don't understand how she stayed with me for so long.

I couldn't let her go, not after how far we've come. I'm in love with her, and I'll wait a thousand years for her if I have to- even if it's for her to simply acknowledge me. Because, knowing Azrael, it will take a lot of effort to cut through her pride to get to her heart.

Trinity's POV

I sat beside my husband as the Conclave meeting began. As soon as everyone was assembled, Charles stood. His voice rang throughout the room.

"As you are all aware, Abaddon, Angel of Destruction, has broken the bond between himself and Azrael, Angel of Death. After helping him to escape, it is assumed that he left her sometime in the night. As you were also informed, she was in the hospital, asleep. That is no longer true. She is among the Red Bloods in New York City, and no one is aware of her current condition nor location. Please, keep an eye out for her for she is not in her right mind, due to… the breaking of the bond."

I knew this was an uncomfortable subject for Charles, considering Gabrielle's betrayal of him. I wonder, when my bond mate is brought alive again, will he ever do to me what Abaddon did to Azrael, what Gabrielle did to Michael? I know I couldn't ever do that to him. My I miss my dear Ezekiel, I miss him so much.

"Since there has not been many… situations in which the bond was fully broken… I am not exactly sure of what is supposed to happen. The doctors are almost certain that she is to die within the week, from emotional and mental conditions alone. Now, I have gathered this meeting to discuss Azrael's future. It was not expected for her to… leave us so soon, since she is only 16. I know that this is not a very important issue, but the Angel of Death cannot be just anybody's cycle child. She needs to be in the hands of someone who can meet her… mental needs."

I knew what he meant. Mimi was not an easy child to have, not because of her body's character, but because of her needs as the Angel of Death. I have heard her late in the night, speaking to her brother about the small plague in Afghanistan (**A.N. not actually true**), about how many people were lost. How she could feel each soul leave this earth, as if a part of each of them went through her before going up or down.

She needed a pair of parents who could give her minimal attention so not to attract her wrath, who could be firm with her when she became demanding, and who could parent her without becoming attached to her. Attaching yourself to Azrael is like chopping off your own foot. She is manipulative, easily able of getting her way with those who make the choice to get close to her. Charles and I have isolated ourselves from her as much as we could, giving in to her human desires without being affectionate.

Charles went on, "So, discuss this among yourselves, and if there are any volunteers, please inform me. If there are none, I am afraid that one of you will be obligated. This meeting is concluded."

(Mimi's POV)

I walked down the street dizzily; I couldn't think straight. My vision blurred every now and then. I thought I needed some air, but every step in the "fresh air" was not doing me any good. I felt like collapsing, and I would've welcomed death, but I had decided to die right on my own.

Besides, death was going to find me anyways. I don't need to push it along. Just a couple more days, and I will be free. I don't know, starving myself, jumping off a cliff, or killing myself with a knife or sword seems so violent. For just one moment, I want to not feel so deathly. I want to be peaceful and not so… bad.

It's how I want to die: peacefully. Not by sword or famish, but by peace. Because I take life from people, often in ways that aren't tranquil, and, for just once, death could not be means of destruction, chaos, and doom, but of welcoming happiness. I would die, happy that I was, not by the sword, but in a natural way, through the plan of the Almighty.

Suddenly, I looked up, sensing an evil presence. A Silver Blood. Well, this is my cue- might as well fight before I become useless. I spotted the Silver Blood across the street, standing darkly on the side of a theater, separate from the rest of the crowd. He was staring coldly at me, and I was obviously his intended prey. Moron, thinking he can defeat me. Oh well.

I knew I was vulnerable at the moment, but if I could beat half a dozen on my own, I think I can take one no matter what condition I'm in. So I lured him into an alley where no one could see.

Peeking out of the corner of my eye, I saw him following me into the mildew-smelling alleyway. Then, in my worst possible state, they ambushed me. Of course, I wasn't really unprepared, but it was semi-unexpected. My sword had been already drawn, and I flashed out, taking down two in one blow. Five more came at me, and after half of them were down, I was beginning to get extremely dizzy.

I spun abruptly to the left to plunge my sword into one of their hearts before turning the other way as quick as lightening to do the same to another. Once it fell to the ground, I faced the last one, my vision so blurry I could barely see it. After dodging a few blows, my sword entered his stomach, going all the way through.

Withdrawing my sword, breathing deeply, I struggled to stay on my feet. And, dumb as I was, I forgot about the one behind me. It wasn't until I had felt the change in air when I moved quickly to the left, the blow that had been intended for my heart slicing my upper arm. I hastily put an end to him, and stumbled through the alley, clutching my seriously bleeding arm.

As I began to approach the light of the open, I realize I can go no further and drop to the ground. A distant _'NO!' _sounds in my head, but I ignore it, figuring that I'm hallucinating. My eyes barely staying open, I sent a message to Trinity through the glom to find me and take my blood.

The quiet, fading voice again enters my mind, _Don't, Mimi! Don't you dare die!_

I faintly recognized the voice as Jack.

_I'm still here, Jack. So stop screaming_. My own voice in my head sounded terribly weak. Would the Almighty just put me to rest? I don't want to talk to him: that backstabbing, no-good, freaking… soul mate. He was still my soul mate, even if I couldn't forgive him. Even if I hated him.

_We'll find a way, don't worry. You're not going to die. I know there's something we can do. _Jack went on, trying to assure me.

I knew there was nothing, and deep down, he knew it too. The bond was broken, and it can't be repaired, at least not in this cycle, with the little bit of time I have left. And with the help of my quickly disappearing blood, I knew I was going to die. It was painfully obvious. I was going to die this cycle, and I would likely die soon my next once I got my memories. But if one day, if there ever is one, I could be accepted back into Paradise. Then maybe I could finally be in peace. I don't know when that day will come or if it is coming, but perhaps that will be the day Abaddon's cold, cruel hold on my heart will be released and I will be free.

A wish from a fairytale book, yes, but the Almighty does not forbid hope.

Accepting my fate, I dizzyingly drew the conclusion: It's the end of my time as Mimi Force. I guess I'll miss her, but I sort of missed Thea, Aggripina, and Sussanah and got over it. A fallen angel never dies even when their bodies do, as long as their blood is collected.

_Too late_, I finally said, closing my eyes. For good.

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**Yeah, yeah, I know. SOOOOOO dramatic right? Oh well. If the world were without drama, where's the fun in slamming doors, running out the room _just_ so he can chase after you, slapping somebody across the face for the heck of it? Where's the exhileration? I hope you got that anxious feeling for it to continue or at least some excitement. Did you start crying somewhere in there? If you did, good for you. I think this story is coming to a close; this is the last full chapter. I hope you like this story. Well... I can never know unless you click that little review button down there. Sequel should be coming. If you disagree, that's just another reason to click that button down there...**


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

Every story has an end. And they lived happily ever after…

Yeah, right. It makes sense if you were reading _Cinderella_. But in mine, it couldn't be more wrong, at least for me. My "happily ever after" was in an alleyway of New York City by the hand of a Silver Blood. And I was alone in my death. The only person who was there was Jack, but he hadn't cared. He couldn't have.

Endings are strange things. One, they are one thing or the other. They are barely ever in between. For example, they could be either completely joyful, or just plain tragic. I think mine is leaning towards tragic. Two, they aren't always forever. My story has come to a close, but it never truly ends. It's like a series, except this series just keeps going and going and going. A sequel to this tale is coming soon, I am sure of it. Three, they give whoever is reading this Goddamned story a solitary feeling the overwhelms the others: happiness that the character lived happily ever after, sorrow at how the story had turned out sadly, anger at what had happened in its contents. I don't know how you all felt after reading my story. Granted, it only lasted a few months, but there's nothing wrong with that. My story could've been a single day, and it would still have the same meaning.

If you felt pity, then crap you. I hate pity. I can do anger at Jack Force, though. I absolutely hate him… although I love him. Yep, people can never see how close hate and love actually are; both extreme forms of passion. If you felt sorrow, eh, not bad. And if you felt happy that I'm dead, then go to hell. Doesn't matter, though; I'm coming right back.

I admit, I probably deserved it. Every death, I don't exactly cause it, but in some ways I do. When people are on the edge of life, it's me that cuts the string. Inside me, I feel my little pair of sharp scissors slicing the thread in two, putting an end to it.

Anyways, my story has drawn to an end, but soon there will be another that is probably even worse. It's coming though, I know it. So you see, endings aren't really forever, at least not in my book. Will Abaddon be there? Probably. Will Schuyler be there? I certainly hope not. There are things that I am hoping for in my next cycle, things that I never had this one. One, I don't want to die by the hand of a Silver Blood. Being defeated by them- it's a sign of weakness, and I can't have that. Two, I want to live past age 16. I never even got all of my memories back, but there are some that I did remember that I wish I hadn't recieved, like the cycle in Panama. Still, it's highly unlikely because... I will probably die. Okay, not the point. Three, I want to be better- as in a better person. Yeah, it's pretty ironic that Death wants to be a better person, but there are things that I want to change. I sometimes wish I didn't care about my appearance as much- vanity. I hope to rid myself of that. I want to be... not as stuck-up, and I don't want to be at the top of the food chain at school. Maybe, I could be the exact opposite of Mimi Force. If I were at the bottom of the reputation line, maybe I wouldn't feel so dumb all the time telling people what to do. Then, there's a chance that... he will like me better. I can't forgive him, I want nothing to do with him, but I have my pride. Dignity is something I rarely lose, and I want to show him that I can be a good person without him.

This is the end of my story, but again, not the end at all. I don't know when, I don't know where, but Azrael will be born again, with a new name and a new body. She won't change, though, not in who she is. I suppose there are things that are admirable about death, about me. I don't feel fear, I despise weakness, and I am a skilled warrior. But those things can never compare to who I really am, what I really am. I'm like a gate, opening and closing for the deceased. Sometimes, the Almighty decides somebody should be spared, and my gate stays closed, but it opens only moments later.

Nobody can ask me to change or make me change. I am who I am, and I have learned to accept it. He won't accept who he is or who I am. That is why we cannot be together, plus the fact he has broken our bond. Yes, this isn't much of an ending. I am dead in an alleyway, he is... wherever he is. We aren't united though like we always have been. But sometimes, it is better to be alone, and in a way, I always have been. He has never truly understood me as Death. I don't think anybody can. No one except for me.

And they lived happily ever after…

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In precisely 103 years, 279 days, 17 hours, 34 minutes, and 41.5 seconds, a baby girl with pitch black hair will open her eyes. They are as green as emeralds, as they always were. They named her Diana, who was the Roman goddess of the moon, for when the baby taken out of the hospital, the first thing she saw was the moon. Yes, her name was Diana, but her real name? Azrael.


End file.
